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House MD Season 6 Episode 13 Recap

2010-02-01T20:06:00.009-05:00

Moving the Chains

During a football practice, one of the players suffers a bout of 'roid rage. House initially suspects steroids, but other doctors suggest that it could also be the result of a pituitary problem.

House is taking a bath in Wilson's bathroom. This prompts a domestic dispute between the two over House's use of Wilson's bathtub. House points out that his bathroom doesn't have a tub. Wilson responds that he who pays the bills calls the shots and orders House out of the tub.

House informs Foreman that his brother needs a ride home from prison. Foreman says he's too busy, but House tells him that he is now "officially unbusy." Family comes first.

In the clinic, a military vet goes to see House. He got a girl pregnant and he wants out to raise his child. He tells House that he waited an hour extra to see House specifically. He noticed House's limp, and thought that House would be sympathetic to him. House tells him that back in the day people who wanted to avoid combat took off to Canada or shoot themselves in the foot. He gives the Military man the brush off telling him to go hug his wife if he wants some sympathy.

The football player is diagnosed as being a steroid user. He insists that he's never used, then suffers a paroxysmal tachycardia episode. Foreman goes to see House and tell him of the development. He's surprised to see his brother sitting with House, apparently interviewing for a job. Foreman tells the brother that House doesn't care about him. He will chew him up and spit him out.

Wilson discovers a Possum in his bathroom. House is busy updating the team. Foreman is again surprised to see his brother present. Wilson bursts in during the meeting to tell House how badly the opossum damaged the apartment, which tallies about $1500.

Foreman seems to be skeptical that his brother, Marcus, is able to be a productive member of society. Wilson accuses House of being nice. He says House is being altruistic with employing Foreman's brother. House says he can't complain about the destruction he caused and call him altruistic in the same swipe.

Attempts to induce a heart attack in the patient through stress testing have failed. The patient seems ready to leave, but House shows up with a vasodilater to chemically induce a reaction. He says the patient is turning white. The patients Mom asks what that means, and House says he can get a job other than football player.

House has given Marcus a desk and a nameplate. Foreman is not happy with this development. Marcus is assigned with the task of following Foreman around and recording his interactions with patients. He tells Foreman that he is a changed man, but Foreman doesn't seem to think so.

Wilson tells House that the demeaning nature of Marcus's assignment is the result of House attempting to prove that he's not just being nice.

The military man is back and he's shot himself in the foot. House says all he's going to get is a band aid and five days off. No deal.

The patient is told that the procedure won't lay him up long and he will still be able to make NFL trials.

House is back to taking a bath . He reaches for the bar to pull himself up, but it rips right out of the wall. Wilson comes home and House is "Lying in wait" for Wilson. He blames Wilson for deliberately rigging it to fail. Wilson says "It's karmic justice, but I didn't do it."

The patient has an inflamed liver, but his spleen is normal. Taub says that he thinks it might be viral hepatitis, due to routine injections of lidocaine in his ankles.

House tells Marcus that if he doesn't get real honest real fast then he's fired. He tells House about Foreman stealing a car as a youngster. It was pretty innocuous, but it caused their mother to be severly disappointed. Foreman has spent the rest of his life making certain not to ever disappoint his mother, who is now deceased.

The patient has too much concentration of cryoglobulins , a protein in the blood. He can be treated, but he needs to stop playing in the meantime. This means he will miss the Football trials. But if he doesn't keep the doctor's advice and tries out, he could die.

House tells Wilson that someone is breaking into their apartment and screwing with them. He says House pranked himself to throw Wilson off the scent. House says he is not a "Master-prankster." Wilson doesn't believe him and thinks it's House playing mind games. Then the sprinkler system goes off, and the Flat Screen TV is ruined. Wilson says, "you would never sacrifice the flat screen." House says, "This guy is good."

House and Wilson accuse Cuddy and the team, CLUE style, of being involved in the mishaps happening in their apartment. One by one, people are eliminated. He then gets to announcing to everyone that Foreman's Mom died and he never told anyone. Marcus jumps in and tells House that he crossed the line. Then he quits.

The patient is getting ready to leave. He says that he doesn't need two or three weeks. He also stopped taking the blood thinners he has been prescribed.

The military man is going to lose his toe to infection. He chuckles, thinking he finally got his out. House informs him a missing toe won't keep him out of action. Of course, he could let the infection just continue to spread.

Foreman goes after the football player to stop him. The player shrugs off Foreman, but as he makes his way down the hall he stops. He tells Foreman that he can't say, and asks him to take him back to the hospital.

Foreman informs House that the patient is returned to the hospital, but he's busy doing something. House says that something else is wrong with the patient because he isn't losing weight. Foreman goes to see his brother. It seems like he's finally ready to accept his brother's intention to become a new man. The two hug.

House thinks the prankster is Foreman, but in the cafeteria Lucas trips him and asks if there are any better pranks than setting off the sprinklers. It seems that Cuddy and Lucas were vying for the very same condo that Wilson bought. He says he's calling off all future offenses. He's both made his point and established superiority.

House asks the patient "You know why you're black?" He says the amount of melanin causes doctors to overlook the possibility of melanoma. He looks at the patient's foot and finds a tumor. The patient says he missed his shot. House says he gets to have the same crappy life as the rest of the students, "minus the student loans."

Wilson tells House that Foreman and his brother are working things out. He says House fired Marcus to get Foreman and Marcus together by becoming their common enemy. House says he fired him because he had no more use for him. Wilson asks what they are going to do to get back at Lucas and House says, "nothing." Wilson says, "I win." Then the soldier rolls by in a wheelchair, obviously having had much more than a toe amputated.

House reflects on whether he really is somehow, in a twisted way, orchestrating all the events around him in a way that is beneficial to others, like Wilson insists.

House MD Season 6 Episode 12 Recap

2010-01-25T20:12:00.003-05:00

Remorse

House is evading a former colleague from medical school. He's been sleeping in Wilson's office in order to avoid the old schoolmate.

The patient is a woman who is suffering from excruciating pain. In the show opening a coworker starts feeling intensely ill, just before she suffers intense pain in her head. She is being scanned by Thirteen who says that she has no ability to feel love. She is a psychopath.

The schoolmate of House tracks him down, thanks to an assist by Wilson. House has coffee with Lorenzo Wibberly, awkwardly attempting to make small talk, he asks what Lorenzo has done since medical school. He says that he never graduated. He works in a grocery store. His dad got sick, and he wound up one credit short. House asks which credit. He says he failed on the paper that House had switched on him.

House says, "you're the CEO of this supermarket?" To which Lorenzo says he's a bag boy. "Life works out weird sometimes," he says.

House asks the patient how long she has been a psychopath. She looks surprised. He rattles off a list of things that qualify her as psychopathic, including being a pathological liar. They ask if she poisoned her coworker. She says she just gave hi something to make him feel like vomiting. It wasn't quite a poisoning. House figures out she has a heart arrhythmia.

House finds out the sob story of his former classmate gets worse and worse. His fathers medical bills are piling up, and he was one of "those idiots that got a mortgage with a balloon rate." He's losing his home.

Valerie, the patient, taunts Thirteen, and points out that she can't feel anything (remorse) for doing so. Then Thirteen grabs her arm, and she screams out with agony. Thirteen says she didn't know what happened, but the patient filed a formal complaint against her. Thirteen and Foreman argue about the treatment. House says, "Those of you who haven't slept together can go." Taub stands by and says, "Sorry. That was our secret." Then splits. House tells Foreman and Thirteen to have sex or quit.

Thirteen asks Valerie's husband about where the patient may have become exposed to any sort of toxins. Perhaps in landscaping class. House asks the patient, "when you watch Star Wars, which side do you cheer for?" She points out that Dr. Hadley said she is like House. She says he's as warped as she s and that's why he likes to talk to her.

Her husband finds out that she was not attending a landscaping class. He accuses her of having an affair. She manipulates him saying he can go ahead and check out her story. She makes him feel guilty for accusing her of an affair. He says he's sorry and hugs her, while she glares at Thirteen so as to say, "I played him like a fiddle."

The patent is demanding that Cuddy fire Thirteen. Cuddy says that the patient will not sue, or her husband will find out the truth, and that Dr. Hadley will be removed from contact with her. The patient asks Thirteen if she is going to cry, "because that is one I just can't do."

She gets a phone call and bursts in screaming about the patient accusing her of sexual harassment. Foreman makes her get out of the room. He says that he knows that the charges are bogus, and it will all play out. He then apologizes for firing her. He says he was wrong for doing it.

Foreman explains an emergency surgery to the husband. He says Valerie always made all the decisions. Foreman says it's time to step up and make a decision. The husband asks if she was lying. Did she cheat on him. Foreman says he can't discuss it. The husband says he feels like he doesn't even know her anymore. He sigs and tells Foreman to do whatever needs to be done.

Chase says he gives her a day, maybe two. House says, "Great, you be the clock, everyone else be the doctor."

Wilson asks House what he is doing. He says he's paying Wibberly's mortgage for a few months. Wilson asks why he will help Wibberly but won't apologize to Cuddy. He says that he can't make amends with someone he actually cares about, and that is why he still won't apologize to Cuddy.

Valerie's sister, Sarah, comes to the hospital. Thirteen says she is surprised. She says, "You know what she's like." Sarah says she is not that bad. Her dad was a mean drunk. She wasn't always like this, but she changed in adolescence.

Thirteen tells this to House. He says, "Liver, heart, brain, starts at puberty." House mutters something about raw food diet. Then he says he knows about lipstick lesbians. "Are there nail polish remover bisexuals?" She has an inability to process copper. They are going to treat her with chelation. She asks if that will fix her psychopathy.

Thirteen warns Valerie's husband that she is playing him. She is going to pretend that she is a whole new person once she gets treatment, but she tells him that it won't be real. He says it felt real, and maybe that is enough.

Wibberly asks House if he's really going to pay his mortgage. He says he can't take House's money. He lied. He got an A on the paper and was an orthopedic surgeon for years. He blew it all away on a gambling addiction. House asks why the sob story. Wibberly says he though House would be the same SOB he was in college. House demands he take the check. Then demands again even more forcefully.

Valerie tells her husband he's pathetic. She says it was one thing before he knew, but he knows now and that makes him a chump. He walks away. Thirteen asks why she drove him away. Valerie says it's because he's pathetic. Thirteen says, no. He hasn't changed, but she has. She says Valerie is feeling something or she would just keep sucking him dry. The treatment must be changing her brain. She asks, "what are you feeling?" Valerie says she doesn't know, but it hurts.

Foreman congratulates Thirteen on the diagnosis, while the two make up. Musical outro begins while house looks at Cuddy and Lucas happily together. He takes the mortgage check and slips it in Wibberly's mail slot.

House MD Season 6 Episode 11 Recap

2010-01-11T20:18:00.008-05:00

The Down Low

During a drug deal, one drug dealer collapses. House goes all Jack Bauer on him, yelling at him< "Where's the Cocaine!" He mentions that the technique seems to work for Jack Bauer (Not the first time House has referenced Jack bauer, BTW). The drug dealer says he's in textiles, not drugs.

Meanwhile, Wilson is chatting up a neighbor. She tells him about where to get the best pizza, the best coffee, and where to get his dry cleaning done. It seems like all is going well, until he asks her out. She says to bring the good looking man with the cane. She implies that House is Wilson's love interest. Wilson says that they're not gay, but she doesn't seem to believe him.

Foreman wants a raise, so the team members play a joke on him that they make more than he does.

House asks the drug dealer about what textiles he is in. He says, "Is it H, by which I mean hosiery?" The dealer says it's Culottes. House asks culottes with a C or a K. With a C,the dealer says. "Nobody wants K anymore." The only thing I've ever heard of referred to as K is Ketamine. It's also the symbol for Potassium, but I don't see much street value for that unless you want to stop someone's heart to kill them. Anyone know what K is?

Then House asks Wilson what Culottes are. Wilson says that they are pants that wear like a skirt. The drug dealer looks at him with a look of "Sure you're not gay."

Wilson comes in to House's interrogation, and tells him that the cute neighbor girl thinks they are gay. House says she'll figure it out sooner or later. Wilson says he wants her to figure it out sooner, so House decides to begin acting gay. He has a big poster of "A Chorus Line," and is listening to showtunes.

Wilson's attempts to convince his neighbor that he is not gay fail. He says that there is no furniture in the apartment. There are no "window treatments." She says that her ex didn't even know what window treatments are. She says if he wants to spend more time with "Greg" that he should just tell him.

House figures out the patient is not actually a drug dealer, but is a cop instead.

The cop won't tell them about where he has been and what he has been doing because he needs to protect his identity and make the big bust. There's just no way he's going to talk. The patient says that there is a big - no huge - deal about to go down and he has to get out of the hospital to make the bust. Now he has a G.I. infarction and they had to remove a foot of his bowels.

They go talk to one of the actual drug dealers and try to convince him that he is sick too. He says he's not sick, he's drugged. He knows the difference, but then he shows that he cares for Mickey and says he'll take them to the stash.

Thirteen and the dealer go to some warehouse, and someone bursts in. He thinks she called the cops but it's one of his cronies. She plays up like she's a prostitute to get rid of him and says it will cost extra to bring a friend.

House is out to dinner with the girls Wilson wants. Wilson bursts in on their date. Wilson says

"I love this man, and I will not waste another moment of my life denying that. Gregory House, Will you marry me?"

He holds out a ring. Now that House's date bolts, Wilson sits down and dips from the cup of victory.

There are some sort of petroleum or dry cleaning chemicals in the drugs, but nothing yet that explains what is wrong with the patient. The patient is coughing up blood while the drug dealer tenderly attends to him. The patient says he shouldn't have taken Thirteen to the stash. He says, "you're my friend. You'd do it for me." He asks if Mickey wants him to stay. He says no. You have to be there. Sorry I can't go with you.

Cuddy chastises the team for play a joke of Foreman and they say that he deserves a raise and they want her to take it out of their paychecks.

House comes clean with the neighbor, Nora. He says he just went with the gay thing because it was a fun way to mess with Wilson. He says their not closeted because their not gay. House just wanted to "Touch her boobies." He actually hates Evita. House has his epiphany.

The patient has Hughes-Stovin, and auto-immune disease that is terminal. He's going to keep having pulmonary aneurysms until he dies. While his drug dealing cohorts go down, he dies.

Wilson says he actually kind of likes the way Nora thinks of him as a bit of a bad boy. He complains about the couch, and bursts into singing a showtune.

House MD Season 6 Episode 9 Recap

2009-11-23T20:00:00.011-05:00

Ignorance is Bliss

The future patient is in a bookstore as a courier. The bookstore attendant notices that the messenger looks like a famous physicist, except much more of a hobo version. Then he realizes he really is the guy. He asks the scientist to sign a book for him, but he can't. His hand isn't working. The employee asks him if he's okay, and he says no.

Back in the Hospital, the team is discussing what may be wrong with the patient. Foreman suggests Thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura (TTP), a rare blood disorder, as tension in the room is high, and Thirteen agrees with him. Dr.House is shocked. She says did you think I wouldn't agree with him... ever? House says they're all one big happy family, and tells them to get a blood smear and run tests for TTP.

Preliminary tests show that the schistocytes indicate that it is TTP. Just before the break he begins to have a stroke.

House asks what looks like TTP acts Like TTP but isn't TTP. Taub and Chase head to his apartment to find out what may have triggered any problems. Taub says, "Smartest man in the world and this is the best he can do," observing that the apartment isn't much to look at. Chase says, "Maybe he's doing what he loves. Delivering boxes was a childhood disease."

Then Taub notices research documentation. Chase notices an air vent with an empty liquor bottle in it. They realize that he lost his scientific career due to abuse.

Cuddy doesn't know whether House is trying to show that he has changed, or if he is messing with her. She then invites him to Thanksgiving dinner. Wilson says it's a 3 hour drive, and it might be a fake address. House checked it out and it seems to be legit.

The patient denies that he is an alcoholic. They ask why he is hiding bottles of vodka if he's not an alcoholic. His old lady starts in on him about his drinking habits. He says, "have you ever seen me drunk?" He says he has one shot a day. She says he drinks enough to ruin his liver, and he says nothing is wrong with his liver.

House goes to Thanksgiving dinner, and it turns out he has been had. Cuddy and Lucas are enjoying dinner while he finds out the owners of the house he has arrived at have gone to Hawaii for a week. She says she's supposed to offer him a turkey sandwich. He got got.

When Lucas gets home to his apartment, House is there. House tells him that he (Lucas) isn't right for Cuddy. Lucas asks what House is then. He says, "Less wrong."

House doesn't seem to even know if he has changed or not. He says he blew 832 chances with Cuddy. House says "I'm pathetic. I don't deserve her," then collapses over. He tells Lucas that he loves Cuddy.

The team discusses the case further but can't contact House. They are going forward on their own. They are sure something is wrong with her kidneys, but they don't know why.

Thirteen attempts to get Chase to reconcile with killing President Dibala. He says not everyone is the same. She says they are. They all just want the same things. He says he just wants to be left alone.

Cuddy asks House why Lucas left her. What did House say to him. He says he didn't know. He was drunk. She says she felt bad about duping him, but he sunk to her lowest expectations and lower. She says, "there is no us."

House gloats to Wilson about Lucas and Cuddy breaking up. He says the whole telling your personal emotions because your drunk trick is the oldest trick in the book. Wilson says House is taking credit for Lucas being stupid, which strikes House to his weekly epiphany.

House figures out that the patient is abusing Dextromethorphan, because he's stupid. "DXM is a dumb drug," House explains. It's mixed with vodka to get a cheap high. But that is what is causing his problem He admits to long term abuse of DXM. The patient doesn't want to live without it. House says, "You'd be surprised what you can live without."

The patient is improving. In fact, he's figuring out some nuclear scientist type problem on a sketch pad. He tells Foreman that he's 91 points more intelligent than his wife. He wants to be on the same level as her intellectually. But when he's not stoned, he doesn't respect her lack of intelligence.

Foreman is talking to the wife. She says he hates her. Formeman attempts to comfort her by saying he's just going through withdrawal. Then we see that he can't feel his legs for some reason.

Taub is arguing with his wife. She doesn't like the fact that he is not the boss. He's at the bottom of the totem pole, and he was even on duty for Thanksgiving like an intern. Then his beeper goes off. When House says jump, Taub jumps.

House yells at Chase to come up with an idea. He says all the others are at least trying to contribute something. He says if Chase doesn't get off his ass and do something he will call his "ex smarter half. " Chase stands up, turns to House and punches him straight in the face. House drops straight to the floor.

Cuddy asks if House is going to press charges. House asks, "the ottoman I tripped over." He says the witnesses are experiencing mass hysteria. He tells the patient that he was mowing the lawn when the phone rang. The patient says it's lonely to be a genius. He asks House if he ever tried to kill himself.

He tried once, and broke a lot of bones. They put him on narcotics and he was happy and dumb. before he was smart and miserable. House asks which ribs he broke in his suicide attempt.

He damaged his spleen and it broke into pieces tainting his bloodstream. So, it actually was TTP after all, they just didn't know why. House and Chase talk. Chase punched House so everyone would leave him alone. He thinks it worked.

The patient is planning on going back to tripping on DMX. It's worked for 12 years. House says "Tell your brain I said goodbye."

Taub takes a picture of House and tells his wife he laid down the law. Suddenly she is all over him. She thinks he stood up for himself, but he didn't.

House and Cuddy have more awkward moment, where he offers her tickets, but she refuses. He tells Wilson she and Lucas never split up. He says she turned down the tickets because she lied about them breaking up. She tells Lucas that House knows she lied. Lucas says "Maybe House isn't so bad after all." She says, "That would be nice, wouldn't it."

House MD Season 6 Episode 8 Recap

2009-11-16T20:13:00.011-05:00

Teamwork

Dr. House is back! He's a real doctor again and leading the team. Well, that is to say, he's a real doctor on a fictional TV show, but he's no longer simply in the role of consultant pending a probationary period. He has his medical license back.

He needs to figure out who his team members are going to be, and you know that the producers of the show want to lead us to believe that he's getting the band back together and returning to the original cast.

Oh yeah, right, there is a patient. A porn star with pain in his eye, but so far it seems to be more of a backstory than the focus of the plot.

The patient is goading Chase to admit that he has desires to be with women other than his wife, but Chase insists that he likes the fact that his wife is the only one he is intimate with.

House goes to see Taub, who now does plastic surgery. House degrades Taub's new profession, and as he begins to defend the fact that he really helps people, he offers a possible solution the what is wrong with the patient. House says it felt good to do that, didn't it?

House attempts to apologize to Chase. He says "I was wrrrrrrrr. wrrrrr." And Chase asks what he was wrong about. Even when he apologizes, he doesn't really.

Chase asks Cameron why she forgave him. She says that the difference between her and the patient is that he feels guilt. So, he knows he did something wrong, whereas the patient doesn't think there's anything to feel guilty about. They can work through their problems because he knows that he should do better.

House tells Chase that Cameron blames him (house) for killing Dibala. She doesn't think Chase has anything to feel guilty about.

Now House is attempting to get Thirteen on the team. He says "On my team you get to screw with Foreman. Every way but literally." She says he is going around acting like everyone will want the job even though they don't.

The patient is informed by Cameron that no one in his profession will be able to receive an organ donation. He gets angry that she is "Medically advising him to change jobs." He says he wants people to stop telling him how to live his life.

Whoa. I missed something. Foreman said something is completely filled with worms. The patient has worms? Damn, I missed the beginning of the sentence. I think they said his LIVER was filled with worms.

Chase says take these two pills and you'll be fine. Go back to your lives.

The patient starts puking up foam. He apparently has something wrong with him other than worms in his liver. They are going to treat him for lymphoma.

Cameron snaps at House. Chase says she blames House for Dibala. Chase says he's either a murderer or a guy that stopped a mass murderer, but he did it. He killed Dibala. She needs to accept the fact that his responsibility is his. He says he would do it again too. She says simply, "Okay."

House suggests nuking the patient's bone marrow. They say that is too risky. House says they may as well just let the patient die while they're treating him. Then he says "Is it okay if I inform the other team members now" and faxes the details to Thirteen and Taub. House leaves and Cuddy says that the patient wants alternative. House says so does he.

Chase says he wants to be on the team. House says "Four candidates, three spots. I have a tough decision to make."

Taub and Thirteen get the faxes and conference call with House. Apparently they are becoming interested in joining the team. In fact, Taub show up and says he wants to be on the team. House says that's good news for his wife. He'll let him know.

Chase tells Cameron that he told House he want to be on the team. Cameron goes to House and tells him that she was in love with him. She thought she could heal him. Then she says he almost killed the patient. He knew the correct diagnosis and dangled it out there to bait Thirteen and Taub.

She says He killed Dibala. He played God. He ruined Chase. She says he'll ruin Taub and Thirteen like he ruined Chase. House says, "he killed a patient and you're breaking up with me." Cameron says Chase doesn't know right from wrong anymore. She starts crying and says "There's no way back for either of you." She kisses him on the cheek.

He tells Wilson they all came back except for Cameron. Wilson says you were right. Good for you. He says she's leaving Chase and the Hospital.

Cameron is crying and has a suitcase packed. She is leaving Chase.

House MD Season 6 Episode 7 Recap

2009-11-09T20:06:00.008-05:00

Known Unknowns

The show begins with a pair of teenage girls waiting to get into a concert. The one gets bold and charges to the front of the line to declare that she is the DJ's assistant. Her friend is blocked by the bouncer, but just then a band member declares that they are with him.

Then it cuts to the girls describing their evening and all it's sordid details to their friends. Then one girl, apparently named Jordan, swells up like a blowfish and collapses.

House has more marital issues with Wilson. He's not holding up his end of the bargain with attending therapy or something. From the start, House insists that the patient has Rhabdo. The team suggests several alternatives to which House replies, "It can't be any of them, because it's rhabdo."

House runs a test where Jordan tries to play air drums to Metallica. House then says that she lied about being with the band all night. It turns out he was right. They just followed a band member around, stalking him.

Foreman suggests that the girl may be bulimic.

House is trying to sneak around towards wooing Cuddy. Wilson tells him to just ask her out. He says She's not some floozy off the street. "She's the floozy I work for." Then he says you have to work your way in gradually. Wilson says, "like a frog boiling in water" and house says "exactly."

Jordan crashes.

House pretends to be a "Dr. Perlmutter" in order to attend the 80's party Cuddy is attending.

Jordan's friend wants Jordan to tell Foreman all about the night they were out together. She says that she is really sick and she needs to stop lying.

Foreman says that bleeding in her brain makes her lying something she can't control.

House is dressed like Amadeus while Safety Dance plays over the PA. House dances with Cuddy ot Cyndi Lauper's version of Time after Time. They reminisce about first meeting each other. House didn't call Cuddy back because he had been kicked out of Med school.

House says that he and Cuddy have moved on to a new phase where he tells her that he has always been interested in her and she walks out of the room. House questions Wilson about an attempt to give a patient Euthanasia.

The team continues to try and find out what Jordan did the night before she collapsed. They watch video surveillance of her.

Wilson tells House that doctors are rarely indicted for euthanasia. House says he'll be unhirable. Wilson says that if there's one thing House taught him it's to do what is right and don't worry what other's think.

Cameron and Chase confront a man (Keener, the comic book writer) about the fact that they know he was with Jordan that night. He won't admit it because he's married and she's underage.

Wilson talks to Cuddy about how House is in love with her, and she tells him that she needs someone reliable, and that isn't him.

Chase says that Cameron is angry with him and she's taking it out on Keener and she's going to kill the patient in the process.

House tells Wilson to have a soda with him to toast his pending unemployment. Wilson says Cuddy will remain just friends until House becomes more reliable. Wilson starts getting loopy and realizes that House drugged him. He says Cuddy is better off without him.

The patient is asked about the night with Keener. She says she went to his room and he gave her something that he said was Extacy but it didn't seem like it was. It just made her tired. She says she feels like she let her parents down. The dad says he's going to kill him, but Foreman says the brain scan indicates that she's lying.

House goes to see Cuddy and finds Lucas, the PI House used to hire, there with her and the baby. He says this is awkward, but would probably be less awkward if he left.

Wilson wakes in a fog. They are calling for House because the patient is bleeding out faster than they can transfuse blood. Wilson is late for giving a speech, and House gives it for him. Haha. He gave the speech as Dr. Perlmutter.

Wilson is angry. During their argument, House thinks of something. He calls the team. He says it's the blood that's killing her. He says she has Vibrio Vulnificus or something. He says Hemacromatosis was in a blood transfusion.

"That night" Jordan didn't even have the courage to knock on Keener's door. The truth comes out.

Wilson finally changes his mind about House. He says he's a good friend. House says tell her I drugged you to keep you from confessing to murder. Chase and Cameron have a talk and make up. She doesn't know that what he is hiding is that he killed President Dibala. It's not an affair.

Chase begins to tell her about President Dibala. He says they didn't actually lose him. "I killed him." She's stunned and the episode ends.

House MD Season 6 Episode 6 Recap

2009-10-19T20:09:00.015-04:00

Brave Heart

Where did House go? As this episode of House begins, the Angels and the Yankees are in extra innings. Someone put baseball where my House is supposed to be. I hope the show is not joined "in progress" due to the delay.

My favorite medical/drama/comedy/mystery is being preempted by one of the dullest "sports" ever invented.

Still no one winning yet. Going to the 11th.

It's now 8:37 pm and it seems that one of the teams has finally won. It appears to be the Angels. Yes, Angels win. Do we get to watch House yet?

Note: obviously none of this applies in subsequent runs of this episode.
***

As the episode FINALLY opens, some cops are chasing some bad guys through a loading dock/warehouse district. The one bad guy is cornered, but has some mad ninja skillz and climbs up the building to get away. Then he plummets off the building and is out on the ground with blood coming out of his mouth.

Were they filming something?

It seems the ninja guy and one of the other guys, and the ninja guy seems to think he's fearless. His whole family died at 40 of heart disease. So he assumes he will die soon too.

House and Wilson are having marital problems.

House says that the patient is not even a patient because he has nothing wrong with him other than what is in his head, but the rest of the team is insisting on giving a full battery of tests.

Cuddy wants to discuss House's employment status. He is going to have to do 120 hours of rounds. House says that Cuddy doesn't NEED to make him do stupid work, she only needs to approve his return, but whether he is right or not, Cuddy is making him do rounds.

Chase and Foreman discuss the Dibala case where Chase had killed James Earl Jones by deliberately creating a misdiagnosis. He seems to have a bit of the buyers remorse.

The patient apparently has a son, and the son;s mother is also requesting a full genetic workup, so she can know what sort of risks her son could be facing in his future.

House is sleepless. He goes and wakes Wilson. Then turns back around and goes back to bed, but still can't sleep.

**

Cameron encourages the woman to let the patient know about his son.

House is doing rounds and activates the alarm, sending students into a panic. He gets called on it. House says, "There's urine everywhere. The great thing about teacher student relationship is the teacher can often learn from the student."

She tells teh patient about his son. He doesn't want to meet his son, but is forced into a meeting anyway. He says his name is Michael, and asks if he will get together when he is better. The patient says no. His dad died when he was his age and it was too painful. He's being a jerk, but he thinks he is sparing his son the pain he experienced.

House thinks he can convince the patient that nothing is wrong with him. He goes in to see the patient and tells him he has "Ortolli syndrome," and Chase says it's a rare disease that affects the adrenal gland, and House says, just skip the mumbo jumbo and get the cure. He is going to get a placebo no doubt. House says take them twice a day for a week and have a long healthy life.

Foreman shows up to House and Wilson's apartment. House asks if he was talking, and he says "no." then he tells House that the patient is dead.
**

He was dead in the laundry room. House is in disbelief that he missed something. Foreman says there were no symptoms presenting. House asks what is the official cause of death. There has been no autopsy yet.

Cameron asks Chase about how he is doing. She gave him space in the wake of the Dibala thing, but she is worried about him. He has been a bit distant since thin.

Donny Compson age 39, Foreman says, as the autopsy begins. House wants to look at his heart, as he says with the bonesaw out. Foreman takes it from him and informs House that you can't perform an autopsy without a medical license.

As Foreman cuts in, he notices that Donny is bleeding, then Donny pops up and screams. House quips that "the autopsy is going to have to wait."
**

House suggests that they assume they're not idiots who spent days looking at his heart and failing to notice anything was wrong. Cameron asks what he remembers and he says he was doing the laundry, and his jaw hurts. The only other thing he "knows" is that he is going to die soon.

House asks a doctor why he might be hearing whispering. Cuddy needs to oversee House, but House says that is not necessary because he is not ready to be a doctor yet. Wilson comes home, and House is asleep on the couch. He is acting as if the voices are due to lack of sleep.

Donny complains about pain in his jaw and says something about his tooth, but nurse says he is maxed out on pain meds. He then extracts his own tooth. OUCH!
**

There was nothing wrong with the tooth the patient extracted. The team, sans House is trying to decide what is wrong with the patient, aside from psychosis.

House is lumbering around the apartment, trying to find the source of the voices he is hearing. He discovers Wilson speaking softly, perhaps to his dead girlfriend, Amber. He says House is having problem.

House tells Wilson he's hearing voices. He says he is going to check back into Mayfield. Wilson says "Okay." House says "Okay?" Wilson says "you're the smartest guy I know, if you can't think of it, it doesn't exist." Wilson knows that House overheard him talking to Amber. He says he misses her, and talking to her makes him feel better, talking to house doesn't.

House says where there's pain, there's nerves. He says, Hereditary sensory autonomic neuropathy. House then demands Chase get some help and do his damn job, regardless of Dibala. Chase asks if the patient ever killed anyone. He says he had partners that did. One took it to be like taking out the trash, like it was nothing. The other drank himself into oblivion. Chase asks if he got help. Yes, the patient said. "Help didn't help."

Then the patient yells out and says he just went to the bathroom.
**

House says he "wouldn't want to be the duty nurse on his floor. Get it Doody nurse." They still don't know what is wrong with Donny.

Chase goes to confession. The priest asks how long it has been since his last confession. Chase says he killed a man. It was the right thing to do. Chase says what is sacred about the life of a ruthless dictator. The priest says he can't just do 10 hail mary's and be forgiven. He needs to take responsibility to get absolution. He has to tell the police. Chase doesn't want to, but the priest insists it is the only way.

Cuddy and House are having a conversation, then House just stops and realizes SOMETHING< but who knows what yet. House says the patient isn't going to die. He inherited a self destruct button, which gets bigger and bigger until it goes off. House says he's going to cut into his brain, and his son's brain to fix the problem. No sugar pills this time. House said, "the saving the kid from pain stuff was crap." He just wants to be a self absorbed jerk. "Sorry to screw it up."

Both of them are finished with their brain surgeries. Chase comes home drunk, and Cameron is worried. Chase says he needed to get drunk so he did. House sleeps with earplugs in. Is he still hearing voices? He says "Hi dad. think I've been focusing on the wrong thing. There were some good times." Then he says "Wilson! This is stupid!" Wilson says to Amber "You'll see. He's getting better."

House MD Season 6 Episode 4 Recap

2009-10-05T20:01:00.019-04:00

Due to illness I was not able to post the recap of season 6 episode 1 &2 or season 6 episode 3 yet. I'll get on it as soon as I am capable. Now, let's get on with what happened on House tonight.

The Tyrant
As the episode opens, there are some weird characters led by James Earl Jones. He's the President of an African Nation. I think James Earl Jones went unconscious or something.

At the hospital, they are looking for a replacement for Thirteen, who has been fired. House is back, but doesn't actually have clearance to practice. Foreman asks if he has anything Medical to say. House advises to treat for dioxin poisoning.

Darth Vader/President Dibala asks Chase about where he went to school, and Chase tells about how he left the seminary. Jones says there priests weren't needed when his sister suffered consumption, implying a good career change for Chase.

Foreman re-extends the job back to Thirteen, who replies that she doesn't want the job. She doesn't seem to want anything else from Foreman either. A young patient warns Chase about what a bad man presumably Darth Vader is. He takes young boys off the street and teaches them to be killers. Chase says he cannot discuss other patients.

House chides Wilson about how he's trying to be a bit invisible in his own apartment. Wilson says the downstairs neighbor is on the condo board and complained about noise and the cooking smell.
**

House bursts in and says Lassa Fever. Foreman says that is ruled out, and so is dioxin. Vader has been in many different African nations. House again insists that he has met with dignitaries from Liberia where htere is Lassa Fever. Foreman says he will check on it.

Darth Vader asks if Foreman has a girlfriend. He asks if that is her there in the hallway. Thirteen is out in the hallway and Foreman goes to talk to her.

House goes to get under the skin of the downstairs neighbor. Then he even turns around and apologizes to the guy. He replies that he doesn't give a crap about apologies.

Darth Vader hands over a consent form that a young African woman will allow her blood to be used to cure him. Cameron wants to refuse, but the young woman insists that she wants to. Cameron tells Cuddy she is being coerced, but Cuddy says if that's what they want then that's the way it is.

The young African man bursts into Vader's room shooting and begins beating him. Chase is running after him yelling not to let him in there. You see some sort of automatic rifle that seems to have been dropped in the process. Chase pulls him off and notices that Darth Vader's eye is blood red. He has not been shot.
**

Chase tells the young man he needs a lawyer. He says that given the circumstances with his wife, he may get a lighter sentence. The man tells him that she is not his wife. He says Vader will kill all the Sitabi.

Vaders eye is the result of an enlarged lymph node. Chase suggests Sarcoidosis, and House holds up an xray. He won't actually speak. Then an infection is suggested bu Foreman, but his fever is not high enough. They check for Lymphoma. House says to close the blinds and when the blinds are closed they say "Lymphoma. Tada."

House did some snooping on the downstairs neighbor. He is too young to be a VietNam vet, and he isn't registered with the VA. Wilson says it's easy to be nice to people you like, but being nice to people you hate... That's a skill."

Vader thanks Chase for saving his life. He says he is fighting a guerrilla war. Chase says it's genocide. Jones says he is trying to prevent genocide and impose order. He admits that he "Hired men that stepped over the line and there were abuses, but that will not happen again."

House is doing more snooping about in the apartment. He knocks over a bucket of water, then sees a Canadian flag. Hmm. Canadian?

Chase and Cameron discuss the morals of the case a bit. Cameron says she isn't trying to kill the patient but the world would be a better place if he didn't happen to make it. They seem to rule out Lymphoma.

House confronts the neighbor and tells him that he saw the Canadian flag. He says "you broke into my apartment?" house accuses the man that he is faking about being in Vietnam war hero. House says Canadians didn't go there. The man snaps at him about how he saved a boy and to this day he still feels pain in his missing hand where he held the boy, so no, he is not faking. House says, "on a related note, Go Maple Leafs."
**

Darth Vader asks about the biopsy results. He asks if it is Lymphoma. Chase says it is not Lymphoma. Vader aks the same 2 questions again.

Foreman is out to dinner with Thirteen. She says that he could have stepped down from his position. He says then they both would have lost their jobs. He says he made the right decision and she walks out.

Now house says it's scleredoma. No clever way of telling them. He says the patient is dying and there's no time for games anymore.House says he'll get Cuddy. Foreman says for right now it is his department and for now they are treating him for Blasto.

Darth Vader does not trust Cameron. He says it is easier to send someone to kill that it is to do it yourself. He says she is too weak to act on her beliefs. He knows she doesn't like him, but she won't kill him. Chase says that is because she is better than him.

Chase pushes Darth Vader about what he is willing to do. He says not to ask questions he doesn't really want the answers to. He says he saved his life, he deserves to know. Darth Vader says with a dead stare and intensity, "Whatever it takes to protect my country."
**

Wilson yells at House, "You broke into his apartment!" He says that the neighbor was going to press charges, but Wilson is kicking him out instead. He says it's serious. House could go to jail and he knows that it's the right thing to do.

Cameron says that she needs to pick a side and do the right thing, so she's going to do everything she can to keep the patient alive. She asks Foreman if he said he was wrong to fire Thirteen. She says he is reasonable enough to admit when he is wrong.

House Injects the neighbor with something that knocks him out, and when he wakes up he's all duct taped up. House says "first of all, my bad." House sticks his hand in his stump in a box with a mirror. He says to clench both fists at the same time. He says "Pray this is going to work. Ready, now let go." When the man lets go, he realizes the pain in his arm is gone. Then he thanks House.

All the alarms are going off for the patient. Darth Vader is having internal bleeding, the alarms are going crazy. They are giving him the paddles over and over again, but to no avail. Things slow down into slow motion, but he has died. Darth Vader is dead.
**

Foreman wants to know what happened, and House tells him that either he didn't have enough confidence in his diagnosis, or he had too much. Then Foreman confronts Chase about why he was in the morgue. There was a patient with sclerodoma in the morgue. He asks if Chase switched the blood to ruin the diagnosis and make them treat him for the wrong disease.

Chase says it was bigger than the one patient. Darth Vader would kill so many people that it would make all the work they do saving lives meaningless. Everything they do is for nothing if they save the life of a genocidal maniac. Foreman asks if Chase thought he could do something like that with no consequences to himself. Chase solemnly replies, "No." Chase kills James Earl Jones and he knew what he was getting into and was willing to accept it.

Wilson says he talked to the veteran neighbor and he seemed... "Happy." He isn't going to press charges, even if House doesn't move out. He asks House what he did, and House asks if he really wants to know. Wilson says he'll just give him the benefit of the doubt.

During the closing, there are some somber moments, and Foreman seems to be burning the record that shows Chase switched the blood sample.

Chase Kills Patient on House

House MD Season 5 Finale Season 5 Episode 24 Recap

2009-05-11T20:10:00.004-04:00

Both Sides Now

A patient has a bizarre affliction where the right side of his brain and the left side of his brain are at war with each other.

House tells Wilson that he slept with Cuddy, after which she informed him he was just an employee. They were both stone cold sober, he says. Sounds like Cuddy may have the buyers remorse. Wilson says to talk to her about it.

House didn't talk to her, and demands that Wilson is not to talk to her. Wilson tells him to "for once in your life, be an adult." House needs to confront Cuddy.

The patient is being shown words on a screen and stating what the words are. The word "candle" comes up, and he says that he doesn't see the word on the screen, but then he draws a candle. House notices the patient scratching himself, and tells the patient that his liver is failing.

Cuddy asks Wilson if there was something he wanted to say to her about house. Wilson says there's nothing to talk about. House asks Cuddy for permission to do a liver biopsy and tries to get her mad. He refuses to do clinic hours, but she observes that she is still not angry.

House says that he found oxytocin in her coffee cup. This makes you all lovey dovey. Wilson says he would have to have a baseline to compare it to. House says he took a water bottle before.

A clinic patient comes to see House. He says he squawks. Like a parrot. He tries to mimic the sound, but comes off as a looney. House escorts him out.

13 and Taub are doing some tests on the patient while he plays air guitar. They rule out sarcoidosis. House suggests pancreatic cancer and tells them to test his pancreas.

The clinic patient brings Cuddy a stool sample and says that Dr House said to bring over a sample right away. He bursts in saying "Here's my poo." He asks if there is a clinical name, to which Cuddy says it's called a stool sample.

The patient wants to leave. House tells Cameron she needs to destroy Chase's sperm. House tells Wilson they need him to do relationship counseling with the patient. House says right brain left brain is the breakfast of relationships. It's the most important part.

House continues to shut out the clinic patient and hangs up on him. He insists the brain patient has pancreatic cancer and pushes to treat him for it. Cameron tells Chase that she really does want to marry him, right while he is in the middle of surgery.

Wilson asks House if he really wants Cuddy, or if it is just another challenge for him. He says he is all for House and Cuddy being together but he needs to take it seriously, or they will both get hurt.

House says they weren't looking at the right time. He has arrhythmia, but it's intermittent. They just weren't looking at the right time, such as right now. The patient is in trouble, and House correctly identifies the problem, saving the patient's life. He declares "I did it again."

House asks what makes a 20 something healthy persons hears send out clots like it's bombing Dresden. The patient's girlfriend says he hit her. She says that his left hand sometimes throws things, but it never seemed anything but playful, but when he hit her, it didn't seem that way. They ask him how often he uses deodorant. He says a couple of times a day.

Wilson asks House if he wants to be the man with the answers or the man with Cuddy. He says what do I do? Wilson says, "you make her angry." He says he means for real, not teh half assed attempts that House has been making. He says, "Now go terrorize her."

Cameron never canceled any of the wedding plans with Chase.

House tells the entire hospital that he slept with Lisa Cuddy. He announces it to everyone from a balcony on the second floor. Cuddy runs out and looks up at him as the show cuts to commercial. So did it work? Did he get her angry?

She goes ballistic. She says, congratulations House, I am angry. He says he was wondering when they could move in together. She says he's fired.

He tells the clinic patient that his squawking was caused by acid reflux. Then he asks him why he is adjusting his belt. He says the patient has pancreatic cancer. It can cause acid reflux.

Cuddy tells House that they not only don't have a personal relationship. They never could. She was pissed off when he told her he quit and she initially refused. He said to go suckle the bastard child. He says, that's not what happened. "I told you I needed you." She asks if he's okay. He drops a bottle of Vicodin. She asks if he's okay again. TThen everything flashes between scenes. He in the office with her, in the bathroom detoxing, having sex with her in his him, over and over again looking at a lipstick and a bottle of vicodin.

He ppours a bottle of vicodin in his hand and takes some. Then we see him again with Amber. She says, "so, this is the story you made up about who you are." Kutner says, "too bad it isn't true." House says, "No. I'm not okay."

House goes to see Wilson. It cuts from that to Cameron and Chase getting married. At teh same time they exchange rings, House hands off some personal items to Wilson. Is he going to rehab? Where is House going? What is he doing?

Then we see that where is going. It's the Mayfield Psychiatric Hospital.

That's it folks. Season 5 of House MD is all wrapped up with more questions than ever. How much is real? How much is a delusion? We won't know until next season.

House MD Season 5 Episode 23 Recap

2009-05-04T20:32:00.005-04:00

Under My Skin

A ballerina suffers a lung collapse while she is performing onstage. The medicine House gives her causes her skin to fall off.

Meanwhile, House is trying to figure out why he is having hallucinations of Amber. He argues with Wilson over the cause, and Wilson continues to believe that teh problem is too much Vicodin. House wants to undergo electroshock therapy. Wilson says he would rather risk death or worse than go to rehab.

House asks what's worse than death. Double Death? Wilson says losing the only thing that matters, His rational mind. The team stops the heart of the patient to scan it. As this is happening, House calls Wilson and suggests Insulin shock. Wilson argues for a minute and says he'll be there in five minutes. House says, make it two minutes because I'm about to go into insulin shock.

We see House fading out as the team struggles to revive the patient. Just before reviving her, Foreman notices a shadow around the heart. House is fading out while looking at Amber start to blur. We see the patient come back around as Wilson arrives to rescue House and yells for Insulin.

In the next scene, House is trying to figure out what is wrong with the patient, and Amber is there again. His plan to fix himself did not work. He suggests that gonorrhea made it's way to her heart.

Wilson is taking House to some sort of facility around Philadelphia. Amber is still there, while Foreman reports in on how poorly the patient is doing. Wilson says she's okay, and Amber says he's lying. Amber asks House if he really wants to be Amber free again.

House confronts Cuddy. She offers to help him by admitting him anonymously. Amber warns him against what he is doing. He tells Cuddy that he needs her. She says she'll call a babysitter.

The patient is having heart surgery while House and Cuddy are trying to help him detox. She asks where else he would have a stash hidden. Amber keeps imploring him not to come clean. He tells Cuddy about more hiding places. He's having fits and Cuddy offers to hold his hand.

The patient comes back around and Chase informs her that her hands and feet will need to be amputated. The tissue can't be saved. It sounds a lot like what House didn't want to do that screwed up his leg.

Taub says it would be a shame if she died because House has some personal crap to deal through, and Chase points out that it would be a shame if she died because House had some personal crap to work through AND they weren't smart enough to figure it out without him.

Amber continues to egg him on. She taunts him that if he takes the pill he doesn't deserve Cuddy and if he secretly takes the pill, he doesn't deserve anyone. Cuddy rushes back in and flushes the pill just in time.

The team is doing something to the patient and it seems to be revitalizing the vessels in her hands and feet. I assume she's going to be okay.

House says that Cuddy is lying about him getting better and getting back to work. He's her hospital's biggest asset. She says she hasn't lied to him in 20 years. He says that means you lied about something 20 years ago. She tells him that she audited his class and thought he was an interesting lunatic. I guess the point is supposed to be that she like HIM, and that what she does she does for him. House observes that they are alone.

Cameron expresses doubts about being with Chase and so I suppose the wedding is off. Cuddy says goodbye to House and he says Thank you. Then she says, "You want to kiss me, don't you?" He replies, "I always want to kiss you." House and Cuddy kiss, and then they go at it like rabid badgers.

Next week, the supposedly shocking season 5 finale. Cuddy tells House that everyone close to him winds up getting hurt.

House MD Season 5 Episode 22 Recap

2009-04-27T21:29:00.005-04:00

House Divided

As tonights episode of House MD opens, we see a 14 year old deaf wrestler getting ready for a wrestling match. As the match continues, the wrestler is crippled by the sound of loud explosions in his ears. He falls to the mat, grabbing his ears and screaming in agony.

We then see House talking to Amber, who is dead. The alarm goes off and she tells him it's time to wake up. This makes it seem like he was only having a dream. House has been taking sleeping pills and it turns out he sees Amber even when he is wide awake. House is hallucinating, which calls into question just how much of what is going on can be trusted by the viewer.

The wrestler has been deaf since the age of 4 as a complication of meningitis. House suggests that he had a seizure, and orders testing for seizures. Meanwhile, Wilson and Cameron are acting a little strange. Amber asks House why Wilson closed a file folder when he showed up, and why is Wilson so eager to just write House a prescription and be rid of him. It turns out they are planning a bachelor party for Chase.

While Thirteen and Foreman are testing the patient, he loses vision. While talking with Amber, she suggests that House play some music for the patient. Then we see House all pimped out with a boombox blasting Public Enemy's "Fight the Power." Based on the patient's response, House says there is yet another new symptom: Neuropathy.

Foreman suggests that their could be raised ICP levels causing the symptoms. First House shoots his idea down, but when Amber says he is right, House says Foreman is right. Maybe his deafness was not a complication of Meningitis, but a result of MF2 cancer.

Taub explains to the patient that MF2 cancer is a slow progressing cancer, and entirely treatable, but it would cure the deafness. Here's the ethical dilemma. The patient wants to stay deaf. Although tests show slightly elevated ICP levels, there seems to be no indication of cancer.

Meanwhile, Hadley wants in on the bachelor party. House says no. It's for men only. She says if she gets drunk enough she may make out with the stripper, or become one. "Sold!" House/Amber proclaims.

House shows Wilson some scans to compare. 3 year ago vs today. What's different. Wilson says the bending of the ventricle was not there 3 years ago, which does indeed indicate MF2. But they're going to need a brain biopsy.

As Chase prepares to do the biopsy, House discusses a stripper named Karmel with Amber. Then He argues with Chase over giving the patient cochlear implants during the biopsy. After surgery, we see the patient hearing all sorts of noises. His mother is angry and demands the implants be removed. House observes via Amber that the mother does not seem genuinely angry and tells her that she actually wants her son to hear again.

Cuddy argues the ethics of stripping the patient of his deafness and house says that the patient is opting to be handicapped, and the mother is an idiot. House is no longer in charge, Foreman is. Foreman orders tests for Eppstein_Barr.

The Patient wants the implants removed, but his mom would like him to keep them. She says his name, and he asks is that his name? Seth. They hug, and he just bursts forth with great volumes of pee as Taub enters the room.

Next we see House with Hadley, Foreman, Taub, and Amber. They are trying ice cream that turns out to be alcoholic ice cream. Then suddenly, everyone but House and Amber go gray. House asks what just happened. Meanwhile the deaf boy is telling his girlfriend he doesn't want to hear, but she says it's wonderful that he can hear now.

Foreman and House continue to argue over who is in charge, and House says Cuddy doesn't really want you in charge. She just wants to avoid a lawsuit. Then we see that the patient has ripped out his implants. Amber says "we just saved his life." Arrhythmia, house says. Another new symptom.

We see the team gathered, but Amber holds up a lighter. House clears the team of the room. Then we see him practicing setting liquor on fire for the bachelor party. He winds up setting the lab on fire, including a body for autopsy. Amber asks what all the new symptoms have in common, and House says it's heat.

Now, at the bachelor party, House is doing his trick of lighting the drinks on fire. Wilson comes in and yells "House! This is my apartment." House got Wilson to attend after all by hosting it at Wilsons.

While House and Amber sit in the bathtub thinking about the case, Chase goes to do a body shot off of Karmel, the stripper. He licks her and goes into anaphylactic shock from her strawberry body butter. House wonders why, if Amber is just a part of his own brain, would Amber suggest to use Karmel, knowing that she uses strawberry body butter, and knowing that Chase is allergic to strawberries. He doesn't want Cameron, but Amber says he's not a big fan of other people's happiness either.

House gets a call that the patient is getting worse. He has lung failure and does not have MS. They were wrong, but the team is all drunk. Cuddy calls him and says that she needs him to show up because no one is sober. He tells her "Goodnight."

The drunken doctors attend to the patient anyway. There are tobacco stains on his teeth, and that may explain. He used to chew tobacco, and now he doesn't. It's Sarcoidosis.

Cuddy tells House that the team solved the case without him. He says that's good. She asks what is going on. He says that he hasn't slept since Kutner killed himself.

House goes to bed. When he wakes up, he looks in the mirror and smiles, No Amber, but then as he turns around, there she is. House is still hallucinating from his insomnia, and we will have his alter ego characterization of Amber for at least one more episode.

Next week, Do House and Cuddy Kiss?

House MD Season 5 Episode 21 Recap

2009-04-13T21:31:00.005-04:00

Saviors

What happened on House tonight?

At the beginning of the episode tonight, we see two eco-nuts chained to a large piece of equipment during a protest of what seems to be a mining operation of some sort. The workers confront dirty hippy chick and dirty hippy dude. Workers complain that the hippies should just let them do their job. The hippies utter something incoherent about a phony impending ecological disaster, just like all the other fake hysterias they have "warned" us about for the last 4 decades or so.

Unwashed hippy chick passes out from the power of her own stink, and the guy finally unlocks himself to make sure that she's okay. As he gets up, the LSD kicks in and things start to send him on a bad trip. He, of course, winds up as the next case that House will tackle.

In the wake of Kutner's suicide, Cameron calls off a vacation that she was supposed to take with Chase. She discovered that he had purchased a ring, and got all freaked out that he is going to propose to her. Especially that she thinks Kutner's suicide may have something to do with driving him to want to marry her, and she doesn't want that to be a factor that influences his decision.

House uncovers that Wilson is eating healthy, and tries to figure out what is going on. He snoops around in Wilson's apartment, looking to solve the mystery. When Wilson comes in, he asks if Wilson is eating healthy because Kutner's dead. Wilson replies that yes, he's eating healthier because if he doesn't watch what he eats, he might accidentally kill himself. House observes that mortality is mortality, and Wilson may be considering his own mortality. Wilson points out that he has plenty of junk food around. House says showing him food he hasn't eaten doesn't mean anything. Wilson replies, "If you're looking for evidence of what I have eaten, first door on the right."

Chase can't figure out what is going on with Cameron, and asks Cuddy if Cameron is in love with House. She stalls, and he asks if she (Cuddy) is in love with House. She stalls again, and Chase says, "two questions. No answers. I'll extrapolate from there."

Meanwhile, our eco nut friend continues to puzzle the team with an ever growing risk of impending death. Signs point towards it being cancer, but there is not any actual evidence of cancer. Taub suggests attempting to grow the tumor in response to House suggesting they irradiate the patient. House loves the idea, but can't understand why he didn't think of it himself. He tells Wilson he lost his mojo.

At a vending machine, Wilson buys some gummi bears. House says, "you hate gummy bears, but more importantly, I hate gummy bears." He finally realizes that wilson was merely eating food that House won't eat. "You're eating healthy because you know that I have no desire to eat healthy." Wilson comes clean that he was just messing with house, because that's what is normal for them. He tried to change things after Amber died, but that just didn't fit right. Messing with House fits. Of course, House finally gets an idea, thanks to Wilson's mental challenge.

He asks the patient about contact with flowers. There's no garden, they live in an apartment. No window box. No potted plants. Finally he turns to Taub and says "your marriage sucks." "Thanks," Taub replies. House goes on to say that the eco-nut loves a tree in Oregon more than his wife, so he must have bought her flowers at some point to make up for being a sucky husband. His wife isn't even aware of it, but he did. He bought her roses. The thorn of the rose gave him an infection and it's totally curable. Good news for him. Bad for the wife.

After being dumped by Chase, Cameron talks to House and he tells her that is just what she wanted. She says she didn't want to dump him. He says, you wanted him to dump you. There's much less guilt that way. So, she goes back to Chase and explains her situation to him. He bends down on his knee, and she smiles with joy.

At the end, House is playing piano, and Amber show up and starts talking to him. Next week, House continues to hallucinate. Were the people right that believe this to be a dream sequence. Things got fuzzy at the end of the episode two weeks ago. Is this real, or a dream? Or is House really hallucinating?

Kutner's Dead House MD Season 5 Episode 20 Recap

2009-04-06T21:10:00.013-04:00

Simple Explanations

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In a shocking episode, Dr. Lawrence Kutner, played by actor Kal Penn is dead. Dr. House was curious why he did not show up to work, and sent Foreman and Thirteen (aka Dr. Hadley) to investigate. When they enter his apartment, they find him laying in a pool of blood. Suicide by self inflicted gunshot wound.

House takes this on as his main focal point of trying to solve the mystery of why Kutner would kill himself. There is a couple, an older man and woman. The man, played by Meatloaf, is having heart problems, and the woman fakes illness to be close with her husband.

As the episode unfolds, it turns out that the woman really does have something wrong with her, and She is bent on attempting to save her husband. The plot continues to revolve around the issue of suicide, from the woman trying to kill herself to save her husband and donate her heart, to her husband demanding to donate his kidney to save his wife, and of course, Kutner's suicide, which House simply cannot wrap his mind around.

House continues to focus more on solving the mystery of why Kutner would kill himself than on the mystery of what is wrong with the now mysteriously ill woman. House persuades Cameron to talk to Meatloaf and have him agree to donate his kidney to his dying wife. He will die on the table, but he only has a few days to live. He agrees, but then Cameron tells House that there are nodules on Meatloaf's fingers, and he may have a curable disease.

She's correct, and House tells him that he has a fungal infection and he's completely curable. He tells house that they'll be scraping up his remains to give a kidney to his wife. His plans are foiled when Taub tells the woman that her husband has a curable disease, but he wants to donate his kidney, if that's okay with her.

Meanwhile, House has decided that there is no plausible reason for Kutner to commit suicide, so it must have been murder. Now he is investigating the "murder" of Lawrence Kutner. Wilson is appalled, and tells House that all he cares about is the mystery of it all. He is not there because he cares about Kutner. He only cares to solve the puzzle. He says that's all it is to House, is a mystery to be solved. That's all anything ever is.

The woman is getting worse, and it finally occurs to House that if she is sick, and they can't figure out what is wrong, then all the clues must not be there. Everybody lies, so she lied about something. He bursts in and asks why she would think the beaches of Rio are the same as the beaches of Hawaii. It turns out, she was bitten by some sort of fly. She comes clean and tells her husband that she just got tired of waiting for him to come so they can have their dream vacation in Rio, and she went with someone else.

It's too late, however. She was not diagnosed in time.

House continues looking through Kutners apartment, while everyone else attends the funeral. Taub, staying behind at the hospital, finally breaks down and cries.

At the end, Fox asks viewers to go to fox.com/kutner. At the new mockup site, there is a tribute to Dr. Kutner. This makes it seem as if Kal Penn, the actor, is perhaps not living anymore, but at this point I have seen no evidence of such. Please do let me know if this is incorrect.

At the fox.com/kutner site, there is also an obituary. Here's an excerpt.

Mercer County Courier
April 7, 2009

Dr. Lawrence Kutner died on Thursday, April 2nd from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. He was 33 years old.

"Dr. Kutner was a hard working, young doctor with a kind, unassuming, gentle manner. He will be missed by all of us", said Dr. Lisa Cuddy, Dean of Medicine at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, where Dr. Kutner worked.

Dr. Kutner was born in Freemont, California. Tragedy marred his early life as he lost his parents, Karamchand and Niki Baidwan, who were shot during an armed robbery. After a couple of years in foster care, Julia and Richard Kutner adopted Lawrence. He showed great promise in high school, winning a Westinghouse Science award for an experiment involving dark matter. His adoptive parents mused that he showed a freethinking, inventive streak from a young age.

Viewers are asked to leave their message for Dr. Kutner. It looks to me like this is an attempt at viral marketing. However, I'm not sure, in spite of the shocking nature of Kutner's demise, that he is an important enough character on the show to really go viral with this. It sort of reminds me of the question on the Simpsons about what important characters have died. Although several characters had died throughout the show, the correct answer was that no important characters had ever died.

Related: Amber Dies: What happened to Wilson's girlfriend?

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House MD Recap Season 5 Episode 4

2008-10-14T20:14:00.007-04:00

Birthmarks

As this episode of House MD opens, a woman is in China with an interpreter. She was adopted in a closed adoption and is trying to make contact wit her biological parents. They want nothing to do with her, and tell her that they have no daughter. She goes outside and sees a Buddha, and asks the interpreter how to pray. He says make a wish and lift the Buddha. Then make the wish again and if you can't lift the Buddha, the wish will come true.

As she struggles to lift the Buddha, she keels over and spits up blood.

House is informed that his father has died. They think the patient has SARS - Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome, and are taking all sorts of precautions, because the pandemic of Sars has killed hundreds of people worldwide. Doesn't something need to kill more than a few hundred people to create mass hysteria? Apparently not. According to the World Health Organization, Sars has affected a whopping 27 people in the USA and has killed them at an alarming rate of NONE. It's just that contagious.

House is to give a eulogy at his father's funeral. The patient, who I think I will call China Girl in honor of David Bowie, goes into V-Tac and simultaneously House collapses. When House wakes up, he is in the car with Wilson. Wilson says he isn't driving House out of the goodness of his heart. I wonder if House is dreaming this, or if Wilson really is driving him to the funeral. I suspect it is a vision.

They say that China girl is in liver failure. Once again, cancer is suspected of being the problem. House did not have a good relationship with his father. Now House reveals to Wilson that his father is not his biological father. Wilson says House is full of crap. House replies by jamming his cane onto the gas pedal, forcing the car around a police cruiser at a high rate of speed. It yet another of House's tactics to avoid the funeral.

The cop tells Wilson to get out of the car and Handcuffs him. House is on the phone with the team, and he is instructed to get out of the car as well. The cop informs Wilson that there is a warrant for his arrest in Louisiana. For real, or mistaken identity, or just a weird twist in House's vision? I still don't know.

Wilson's warrant is for assault. He threw a bottle through a mirror. House bailed him out. In fact, that's how they met. Wilson and House are free to go, and the cop says, "stop acting like such an ingrate and go pay your respects to your father." Did the funeral get mentioned in conversation, or is this a tip that it is not really happening? Something could have been said and I missed it, but I think this is indicating that House is unconscious and dreaming this.

The patient has brown urine. They haven't focused much on the patient at all. House is consulting with the team about a cyst. Thirteen suggests injecting the cyst with bubbles to see where the bubbles go to see if the cyst is causing her problems. House asked Thirteen if Bubbles was her new stripper name.

House arrives at the funeral. His mother is happy to see him. House asks how she could delay the funeral. Probably another indicator that it is a vision and not real. Wilson is saying something about how House replaced his father in his own head with James Bond. It must be all inside House's head. That conversation made no sense in any other context. House starts describing his father and it sounds more like he is describing himself. He punished failure, he would not admit any point of view other than his own. he treated subordinates poorly. House breaks down momentarily, stops speaking, and kisses his father on the forehead, but he took something.

Wilson and House begin arguing about Amber. He tells Wilson he is afraid of death so he pushes away the one thing that matters to him most (meaning House). Wilson throws a bottle through the stained glass window enraged by House badgering him.

House calls to ask the team how the bubble test went. They tell him they think she has an Atrial Myxoma. House then calls the interpreter to ask about China Girl's parents. The itnerpreter tells House that he doesn't think they were really her parents. The father seemed shocked, and the mother seemed confused. She was born after China imposed the one child policy. Wilson thinks maybe she was an attempted abortion that survived. Maybe they gave her something toxic.

House is back in the hospital and tells them that her parents tried to kill her. House says if Taub turns on the MRI it will kill her. She has a pin in her brain.

When China Girl lifted teh Buddha a second time, a high power magnet turns on. That is what makes it so you can't lift the Buddha on the second wish. That moved the pin in her brain, which is what caused the problem. The pin has been pushing on her brain's addiction center.

House shows Wilson that he has a DNA test that proves that his father was not his biological father. Wilson is astounded that at the age of 12 House figured out his father was not biologically his father. Wilson tells House that he is coming back to the hospital, and that House was right. He says that the trip was the most fun he has had since Amber died.

I guess that wasn't a vision. It really happened. Interesting.

Next week, Thirteen is doing drugs and having sex with strangers. House tells her she's fired.

House MD Season 4 Episode 7 Recap Rerun

2008-10-07T20:31:00.007-04:00

Ugly

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Why is House showing reruns already?

This was a pretty interesting episode of House MD, where they sort of spoofed the program by having a "reality show" being filmed during the episode. Some quips such as House saying that they are walking because it gives the illusion that the story is moving forward were really funny.

Again, I had the Girl Scouts arrangement that caused me to miss a significant portion of the show. The camera crew is there for a kid with a screwed up face, and Cuddy informs House that the show is funding the treatment of the kid. Throughout the episode, House continually attempts to ditch the camera crew. Such as when he takes the team into the MRI room. He tells Cuddy that in front of cameras, people act, and sometimes they just act weird.

House tells the kid, who looks like the elephant man that if he was in the wild, his parents would have eaten him, after saying, "wow1 You're really ugly." Elephant man says, "I have a deformity," and House replies, "I know. That's what makes you ugly." House says that having surgery "will only change your face, it won't change what your face made you."

Taub reveals that he had an affair with a nurse after House badgers him on camera, revealing a lot of potentially embarrassing information.

They think elephant man is going to be okay to get plastic surgery, but then House notices something and demands that they cancel the surgery. He says that something is wrong with his diagnosis. Elephant man's finger won't move.

Taub accuses House. He says "you're not normal, so you don't want other people to be normal either." They pull the wires out of elephant man, and nothing changes. He says he's fine. Elephant man and his dad seem very happy that he can have the surgery, but House seems to believe that there is still something wrong and the surgery should not still go forward.

Thirteen seems to agree that if House thinks something is wrong, then something will go wrong during the operation. Then Thirteen notices something about the pictures of elephant man. She asks how long ago they were taken, and Chase tells her they were taken 3 weeks ago. She bursts in on House and Wilson and tells him that it's Lyme disease. As they are shaving elephant man's head, you can see that there is a rash on his head, which seems to confirm to House that Thirteen was right.

House is deciding who he will keep on board and who he will fire. First is Taub. He keeps him "because he's interesting. Then he fires some attractive woman, who's name I missed. Then he asks her out. House and Cuddy review the tape of the reality show. It seems to depict Him as a brilliant doctor and savior. Elephant man thanks Dr. House, now that he is much more normal looking. House quips that he doesn't know if he can ever trust Michael Moore movies ever again. Lol.

Next week on House in an actual NEW episode, Wilson takes House on a road trip to go to his father's funeral.

House MD Season 5 Episode 3 Recap

2008-09-30T21:27:00.011-04:00

Adverse Events

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I unfortunately missed a huge chunk of this week's episode of House MD due to picking my daughter up from Girl Scouts, and this may be a bi-weekly thing. Which is going to suck.

The episode starts with a painter that is painting a very attractive nude woman. Her husband is there too. The painter finishes and an argument ensues. The husband is demanding a refund of his money, and the painter insists his work is his best ever. The husband punches him out and says the check better be in the mail. The painter's wife or girlfriend comes down to see what is going on and looks at the portrait and asks WTF?

Finally, we get to see the picture and it looks like Salvadore Dali meets Pablo Picasso. The face is all distorted, but the painter doesn't even realize that it looks wrong, because something is wrong with him.

Meanwhile, Cuddy tells House the hospital is NOT paying for the PI he has hired. "Information saves lives and that saves money," he tells her. "No, it costs money and I'm trying to make sure some is left over."

PI tells Cuddy nice shoes. She pauses and says "Uh, thanks... I guess." He tells House it's less creepy to compliment the shoes, and House replies that it's far more gay too.

House quickly figures out that the painter has not been selling paintings so there must be some other way he is making money. He goes to tell him he has a huge tumor in his head and he's going to have to take Picasso's head off to remove the tumor. Picasso is not impressed, so House says that the lack of terror is a clear indicator that he knows what is wrong. He pries to find out that Picasso has been taking 3 different drug trials. The drugs are about out of his system and that's why it's getting better.

Of course, things get worse. And this is the chunk that I missed.

Skipping ahead, they're continuing to run tests on Picasso Dali. It's still not making sense, the drugs are out of his system, but he's reacting like they are in his system. Taub thinks it might be a toxin in the paint he has been using. Taub goes to see Picasso, and says he needs to know about the paintings he has sold, wink wink nudge nudge.

Picasso's girlfriend wonders why this needs to be a private discussion, and Picasso comes clean about not ever selling the paintings.

Ultimately, House figures out that one of the antacids Picasso was testing led to some materials forming a "hairball" in his stomach. Some pills he took got caught in it, and then got released later. So, massive amounts of drugs he has taken were suddenly flooding his system. They remove the "hairball" and everything is all better.

Tune in next week for a better recap of House MD.

House MD Season 5 Episode 2 Recap

2008-09-23T21:26:00.007-04:00

Not Cancer

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The episode of House MD opens differently than most. We see one person after another collapses dead or dying. A tennis player, a construction worker, a kick boxer, and a tuba player. Then we see a math teacher instructing students. Thirteen busts in the classroom and declares that the lesson is over. She asks the teacher if she had a corneal transplant 5 years ago, and the teacher says yes.

Thirteen informs her that everyone who had that transplant is either dead or dying. However, each person died from a different organ failure. A pancreas, a heart, the tuba player's lungs. They all have one commonality and that is the corneal transplant, but what disease affects so many different organs?

House consults with his team, and suggests it's cancer. It's not cancer, the team tells him. Each disease the team suggests, House swats right down and continues to insist it is cancer. But cancer does not jump from one organ to another, and there are no signs of cancer, so what could it be?

Meanwhile, there is a dorky looking guy by the coffee machine. It turns out after a little back and forth that he is actually a private investigator hired by House to stalk Wilson. He also found out some information about the patients.

The team asks, does that mean that we don't have to break into people's houses anymore, to which House replies, Don't be silly. Why do you think you spent all those years in medical school? You don't think I would take that away from you, do you?

House just can't seem to put the puzzle together. Meanwhile, he's trying to find out the dirt on Wilson. He's had Cameron over, Cuddy over, Foreman over, but has never even mentioned House. The investigator says that is what happens when you either don't care about someone, or wish that you didn't. While this is happening, the PI is following an attractive woman, who keeps changing her direction on the sidewalk. She finally looks at him and says, are you following me. He fesses up, and House chastises him for his poor ability to lie. Then the PI says, "you're very pretty." And she says, "Even more uncomfortable."

House insists that the patient has cancer, and puts her on chemotherapy. Later, he walks in and she is throwing up. Foreman says that is from the chemo, and that she is getting better. House was right. It was cancer, but House replies, "I was wrong. It's not cancer." He needs to talk to Wilson to get his thinking process going.

He offers to pay Wilson $400 to consult with him. He tells Wilson he needs him to help him have an epiphany. Wilson tells him he is moving on with his life, and without House. He tells House, Next time you knock on my door, I'm not answering. House is talking with the PI again, and he says something about nothing is nothing, to which House responds that anything is anything. He finally has the answer.

He tells Cuddy that it is stem cells. Stem cells can become anything, and in one patient they became pancreas, in another, heart cells, and in the other lung cells, and in the math teacher, brain cells, but the cells in each case didn't do their job correctly. Thus they acted as obstructions, and when push came to shove, they failed.

He wants to open her brain and test it, but Cuddy says no, even placing security outside the patient's room to keep him out.He gets the PI to switch the chemo with saline, and she starts to crash. Chase is then performing brain surgery on her, and House is letting him know that the IV was swapped. Chase says they should stop the procedure, but House says, you already finished the incredibly risky portion of the procedure, put on the neural net. He tells the PI that the neural net will detect if something is blocking the brain function.

It turns out that something is wrong with her brain, and the doctors remove the bad portion of the brain. Post op House tells the patient that the world was not as ugly as she thought. Her brain didn't interpret the signals properly, but now they will. She's astonished by what she sees.

Meanwhile, House asks the PI if he can put him on retainer.

The PI is an interesting character. I like the addition to the cast. I wonder how long he will remain a part of the show.

House Season Premiere Fall 2008 Recap

2008-09-16T21:40:00.010-04:00

Dying Changes Everything

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In the season 4 finale of House MD, Wilson's girlfriend Amber dies. She was in a bus accident, but it was actually a reaction to flu medicine that kills her, not the bus accident.

Amber's death is a strong theme in the premiere episode of season 5 of House MD. Wilson continues to grieve her loss, and he is resigning from the hospital. The relationship between Wilson and House has deteriorated. House thinks Wilson is an idiot for wanting to leave, and tries several times to persuade him to stay. He even tries to get Cuddy and some others to convince Wilson that leaving is not the right thing to do.

In fact, House goes to such an extreme to try and keep Wilson from resigning, that he actually tells Wilson that he is not going to attend to his patient until Wilson changes his mind. We see the patient this week freaking out, thinking that ants, or some sort of insect is crawling all over her body. The patient is not even the central focus of the episode that much, except to the extent she interacts with Olivia Wilde.

Thirteen debates with the patient over the role of women in the workplace. The patient is happy to play the role of subservient, and says, "the world needs lackeys. I'm okay with that." Thirteen is also struggling with accepting her Huntington's disease.

After running through the usual process of misdiagnoses, and life threatening situations, the team finally comes to the conclusion that the patient has cancer and puts her on chemotherapy. Thirteen is feeling pretty good about her ability to save a life without the help of House, only to have House walk in and tell them to stop the chemo. He diagnoses her with leprosy, and all is well, but Thirteen is a little unhappy to realize that she was wrong and House was right. And that the patient is returning to her job as a lackey.

Thirteen can't understand how she can go back to the job that almost killed her. Doesn't almost dying change anything? No. House says "Almost dying changes nothing. Dying changes everything."

House confronts Wilson one more time, and says he's sorry about Amber. He asks if he and Wilson are okay with each other, and Wilson says, no we're not okay. He tells House that he has enabled House to just stomp all over people for years, and he's not going to do it anymore. He finishes by saying that he and House are not friends anymore, and wonders if they ever really were.

Next week on House MD, House stalks Wilson.

House MD Season 4 on DVD

2008-06-29T08:59:00.004-04:00

The fourth season of House MD will be released on August 19, 2008. Although it isn't quite out yet, it is still available to be preordered on Amazon. I got my copy reserved. Did you get yours?

Recap: Season 4 Episode 16

2008-05-19T23:37:00.005-04:00

Wilson's Heart: Season Finale

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We had more dream sequences tonight. More of the wierdness that prevailed in the first half of the season finale.

The crux of the episode revolved around trying to find out what was wrong with Amber, Wilson's girlfriend. In the bus accident, she had some serious damage to her kidneys. Then she had heart problems, which resulted in her going in to V-tach.

Dr. House finally agreed to let them prod around in his brain to activate the hypothalmus, and help him remember everything that happened. We see him go back to the bar that Amber went to pick him up from. He orders himself a drink, and a Cosmopolitan for her, and orders her to drink. "Drink yours, or I'll drink them both," he demands.

He notes that she sneezed, and it seems like it is just a cold. Nothing serious, so at this point, it seems to be no help.

He tries to order another round, but Amber will have none of it. She prods him out the door, but she has to run back in, because good old Dr. House didn't pay the tab. He gets on the fateful bus. He thinks he ditched Amber, but she presents his cane to him and tells him that he forgot something.

She sits on the bus, and sneezes again. She asks for a tissue, and House mentions that he has a sleeve. Two of them, in fact. He finally notices she's taking some kind of pills, and he realizes that they were the source of the problem. She has some kind of poisoning, that I wasn't clear what the technical name was.

Wilson says they can just put her on dialysis and everything will be fine, but House points out that this poisoning binds with the proteins. She's doomed.

Wilson softly whispers to Amber what happened to her. She says, "the flu pills. I'm dead." Wilson says I love you and she loves him too.

Skip ahead to the end. Wilson is laying there in the hospital bed with Amber. She's ready to die. He wants a few minutes more, but she says, we will always want just a few minutes more. He asks why she isn't angry, and she says she doesn't want that to be the last thing she feels. Wilson kisses her, and turns off the machines. He's torn in anguish.

House is sitting on a bus with Amber. Amber is dead. He asks if he's dead too. She says no. They talk a bit. House says that there's no pain there. He doesn't want to go back. Too bad. It's not his time yet.

Cuddy is curled up on the chair next to House. She is asking him to blink if he understands her. She breathes a sigh of relief, and curls back up on the chair. Wilson pops in, sees that House is OK and heads home.

He sees a note on the empty bed that says, "sorry I'm not here. I went to pick up House." Wilson cries himself to sleep. Grieving.

Season 4 Episode 15

2008-05-12T21:55:00.005-04:00

House's Head

I'm all for weird episodes, but this one is still a little hard to understand for me at this point. It's looking like Wilson's girlfriend was on the bus that Dr. House was on. And now Amber is dying.

The previews from next week show Wilson's girlfriend in the hospital bed, tubes and everything. Hmm. More later.

This was part one of the season 4 finale. I hate when they have the old "to be continued
crap. It's bad enough that television is 2/3 commercials, and only 1/3 program. Then they have to screw you and make you wait for the conclusion.

Anyway, the whole episode was inside House's head, where he was trying to figure out what happened in the bus accident. Overall, neat, but a little too Twilight Zone for House MD.

Old Template Lost

2008-05-08T22:15:00.001-04:00

I don't know how it happened, but the old stylesheet is gone. Gone gone gone. What sucks the most is the loss of the old banner. It was kickass, and I don't think I have a copy on my hard drive, because it was uploaded by someone else. Is there a way to recover this? Even the wayback machine doesn't help. It's all just gone.

A New Year of House - Liveblog

2007-01-09T21:01:00.002-05:00

At the scene of a fire, a firefighter is having trouble breathing. He starts toward the fire. A female firefighter stops him. He says he's freezing.

Apparently he's been burned before. He's had skin grafts.

House is in court. A preliminary trial date is set, after he pleads not guilty.

Yep. Burns over 54% of his body a year ago. House doesn't seem to care about the case. Cuddy called him a "stubborn adolescent idiot." She gave him a scrip for vicodin. "you function better on it."

House says it could be male menopause. He says the patient is on Viagara.
Burn boy is freaking out! He choked Cameron.

Officer Brownshirt is there. House MD said, "I'm sorry." He says he lives in pain. Brownshirt says, "Thank you." But accuses House of being insincere and says, "I'll see you at the hearing."

House is going to check into rehab.

BTW. What's with the site design?

Cuddy and Wilson can't believe he's checking in to rehab. He says it's to help his case.

Chase is thinking like House. "Everybody lies." All three are paged at once. Burn Boy is freaking out again. He's having a heart attack. Chase was right. He's been having a whole series of heart attacks. Cameron is going to see House.

House is detoxing and is puking up his guts. He thinks the firebabe is somehow behind what's going on. Burn Boy goes into cardiac again immediately.

Cameron asks Burn Boy if he's in love with Fire Babe. He says she's engaged to his brother. Cameron thinks he's literally dying of a broken heart. House suggests electro-shock therapy. Cuddy says go ahead.

I thought House was gonna deck Brownshirt. He admitted he's just got a vendetta against House.

Burn Boy's done being shocked. His brother is there to see him. Then Fire Babe walks in. He doesn't remember either of them.

House apologizes to Wilson for being mad that Wilson turned him in.

Ho---ly---crap! Firebabe and burn boy's brother aren't getting married. They fried his brain for nothing. House is consulting while in the courtroom. He leaves and the judge threatens to hold him in contempt.

Spinal Meningioma. Obstructs the flow of the blood to the brain which causes the false memories that were killing Burn Boy.

Cameron hugs House.

Cuddy said she swapped the vicodin with a placebo. The case is dismissed. House still has to spend the night in jail for contempt, then he needs to go back to rehab.

Burn Boy is fixed but has no memories. House asks Cuddy for a conjugal visit. She says she perjured herself. His ass belongs to her. Double clinic duty, and then some.

Heh. House is still taking vicodin. Nothing's changed.

Merry Little Christmas

2006-12-12T21:03:00.001-05:00

So it looks like Wilson is turning rat bastard on House to Officer Brownshirt.

House has to go to rehab, and get off the Vicodin. House is demanding the chart and some pills for the elf.

"Let's go see a dwarf about a gallium scan."

"You don't look a day over 4 feet."

Looks like the mom elf has a bit of a complex about being an elf. Cuddy is chewing out Wilson for being a rat. Dirty rat. She says he won't be able to function without the Vicodin.

Cuddy is suspending Dr. House and cutting off his Vicodin. He's off the case. He said she'll be begging him to get back on the case.

Now Cameron is getting all self righteous because Cuddy is bending the rules. Haha House was right. She's having liver failure. Wilson wants to talk to Cameron. He thinks she's bitter about him ratting out House. Rat bastard.

"How do you pretend your windfall isn't relevant to this decision?" Pwned!

"Hmm. Medical mystery. Sounds like the kind of thing I would be good at."

He trades Foreman info for pills. He gives the info, but no pills.

"House. You've tanned." Wilson realized that Foreman gave House's diagnosis. He sucks.

House is arguing with the doctor. He leaves before the guy calls security.

Elfkin goes unconscious. Her breath smells fruity. Her pancreas is failing. House was right again. He refuses to help without the Vicodin. I mean flat refuses.
"
"You have no idea what's wrong with my daughter." Where's house? "He better be really damn sick." Wilson says he is.

House is detoxing. He looks awful. He suggests the elf has an autoimmune problem. He can't even think straight.

"How bad is he?"
"Are you asking because you care or because you don't know whether to trust his judgment?"
"Both"

I hope Wilson chokes on a sandwich.

"I'm strung out, haven't slept , puking every hour, and I still out diagnosed you."

Wilson is talking with Officer Brownshirt. He says he won't testify. He'll be charged with interfering with an investigation.

The elf is bleeding. House just stole some Vicodin.

They can't decide what's wrong with the elf. Cuddy says gimme a half an hour. She goes to see House. Haha he's arguing with the little girl about whether she has a bear or a dog. Then he says they need to x-ray her leg.

"Normal's not normal if you're not normal."

He says they just assumed she's a dwarf but maybe it's her pituiary. "You got your cancer in my autoimmune."

No growth hormone. She's not a dwarf. She has a granuloma. She wants to stay a dwarf. Mom's all proud. "Just tall enough to wipe her own butt." Mom says to take the pills.

The deal expires tomorrow. It's Christmas eve. House calls his mom. "Just wanted to say Merry Christmas." He takes another pill. Wilson is at the door. House is passed out. The freakin bottle is empty. I think he's trying to kill himself.

He goes to Brownshirt to take the deal. It's off the table. Because House took the dead patient's pills.

Then the jackass says 'Merry Christmas." Merry Fk you pal.

Liveblog S3 E10: Finding Judas

2006-11-28T21:09:00.000-05:00

Sorry I'm late. Cuddy is pissed that officer Brownshirt froze Wilson's assets.

House just stole half Wilson's sammich.

Season 3 Episode 9: Whac-a-mole

2006-11-21T21:08:00.000-05:00

Whoa, that's one helluva Chucky Cheese nightmare. I'm having flashbacks.

House says he knows what's wrong but wants to make a game out of it if the team can figure it out.

Wilson is whining.

Whoa! He's a gusher!

I missed a whole bunch of segments there due to household duties. Foreman's taking a spinal tap, and talking to the little girl. She's telling him that her dad used to drink and drive.

Foreman rolls the kid over and broke his rib. House is having problems with his shoulder. He's in serious pain. She takes his cane away.

House says the kid is sicker than they thought. Syphilis, botulism and something else. I missed it.

[commercial break]

House thinks he's a drug user because he's having seizures. He's in a steam room with Cameron, Foreman, and Chase. He's having another seizure. He was drug free. House stole the guy's cane. Classic!

House is demanding Cameron write him a scrip. Foreman sees something on a brain scan. They're everywhere. What are they?

[Commercial Break]

House wants to do a biopsy on the brain fluid or something. Now he wants Cuddy to get vicodin. Cuddy is hooking him up. "You cant lift your arm." "You can't pee standing up."

Aspergilus. Emotional trauma triggers genetic illness. House wants to five him more infections. Meningitis, the cold, serratia.

He can't breathe from the serratia. Whatever he has is serious. His lifespan will be short, and he'll be sick all the time. He agrees to Foreman.

Foreman and House are arguing because he thinks House is being insensitive. House asks him to sign the transplant consent form. He's not doing it yet. He's afraid to die during the procedure. House was right.

Wilson says the shoulder pain is from House's conscience. He's pissed. The kids are sad. Foreman gives him a you'll be proud of yourself speech.

House rides by Wilson.

[End of episode]

Who Is Ready For Some House? Liveblogging 11/13/06

2006-11-14T21:06:00.000-05:00

Season 3: Son of Coma Guy

Alright! Are we ready for the House Liveblogging?

Wilson: "boo hoo. I lied"

House gives the kid a seizure. I don't know about you, but that is one cool disorder. He can't see things when they move.

[Commercial Break]

Wait, I didn't write that! Where the hell did that come from?

Anyhoo, the kid has awakened from his seizure.

Awesome, The kid starts coughing up blood. House says to stop all treatment. The anti-seizure drugs are bad on the liver. House plans to wake the father from a coma.

Uh oh, Cuddy ain't havin' it. She says he's torturing the patient. She starts yelling at House, then wazzizface from Night Court wakes up. Dan, that's it. Dan wakes up.

[Commercial Break]

Hey, I'm not Dr. Fmragtops. I'm Dr. FIAR.

Wait a friggin' minute! How the hell did you get in this post?

You can't see things when they move. Back to the show. Dan is plenty coherent. House wants to know how aware he was while he was out. He knows his wife is dead, but not how long it's been. 10 years.

She died in a house fire. They tell him his son may be dying. He wants steak.

Wilson: "Caustic guy was waking up coma guy."

Technically vegitative state guy, Dr. *snicker* FIAR!

House: "Everything is conditional. We just can't always anticipate the conditions."

Officer Brownshirt is interrogating Cameron. They paged her to get her out of the interrogation. I wonder if his jackboots are polished.

He just thinks Dr. Cameron is hot. [I agree with whoever posted that]

House seems irritated every time someone calls it a coma instead of a vegetative state. He's going for a drive with Dan.

[Commercial break]

Will you stop that!

Will who stop what?

Okay, this is all in my head, I'll close my eyes and count to ten and it'll go away.

Well it appears Dan is allergic to berries, and House is interrogating Dan. Dan is not happy about this.

Wilson and House are engaged in a lover's quarrel. Now Dan and House are playing quid pro quo, all Hannibal Lecter style.

Officer IHateHouse is putting the screws to Chase!

Ha, and House makes the same Silence Of The Lambs allusion. Hmmm, apparently whatever was happening with the specter poster has disappeared.

Uh-Oh, the kid doesn't have mercury poisoning. Now House is really gonna start the interrogation.

[commercial break]

That was odd. As suddenly as the mysterious postings started, they have now stopped. It couldn't have been Dr. FIAR. After all, we're two separate people, right?

I missed a whole segment... or wait, no I didn't.

Dan is slipping. Foreman is being questioned by officer Brownshirt. Will someone just choke him already. House saves lives every week. Lay off him.

Dan wants to know why House became a doctor if he hates people. He tells a story about a janitor who was a doctor in Japan. No one liked the guy, until they needed him, because he was right.

The boy is seizing again. House asks what happened on the night of the fire.

Holy crap! House convinced Dan to kill himself, so he could give his son his heart! Creepy.

What'd I miss?

Officer Brownshirt froze Wilson's account.

[End of episode]

What the hell just happened?

Clinic Hours: Foot-In-Mouth Disease

2006-11-13T16:42:00.000-05:00

So, What can I do for you?

Well, Doctor, I have a problem I could use your help with...

Sorry, I can't help you look less like a horse.

That's not what I'm talking about. You know how people have something that keeps them from saying every random thought that pops in their heads?.

a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3043/1140/1600/drhouse.0.jpg">

Yeah, and?

That thing is broken.

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Well, you know what they say. You can't fix stupid.

Liveblogging 11/07/06

2006-11-07T20:45:00.000-05:00

Season 3: Que Sera Sera

Good evening, folks. Welcome to the latest liveblogging of everyone's favorite super-sarcastic saw-bones! Get ready....

Get set...

BTW, while you're waiting for House, you can go catch up on last night's episode of Prison Break at Prison Break Central!

And if you haven't gone to vote yet, you could always go write in Jack Bauer or Dr. House.

Go!

2000hrs: Apparently the firemen have to rescue a hippo! Man! They need a freakin' crane for that dude!

2007hrs: House is late because he is incarcerated! Fat man is in trouble if House can't make bail.

2010hrs: Wilson to the rescue!

2011hrs: The team is lost without House!

2012hrs: Apparently Chase hates fat people. He must be a Republican!

2015hrs: Now we're discussing the structural integrity of MRIs. I guess that's a healthy discussion when MRIing Hippos.

2018hrs: Let's see if this MRI collapses...

2020hrs: Whoa! Raging Hippo got stuck in the MRI. I doubt that thing will work properly again.

2025hrs: STDs? Oh my God! The shear logistics of Raging Hippo having sex with anything other than a cow are simply mindboggling... Raging Hippo wants to go home...Awww poor widdle baby *snicker*

2030hrs: I bet he's craving a baby. Baby, the other other white meat.

2031hrs: This cop really has it out for House. Cops generally don't give doctors a hard time for obvious reasons. ANyhoo, it appears Officer IHateHouse served a search warrant on House's...well house.

2035hrs: So is House going to federal pound you in the ass prison?

2036hrs: House wants to send Raging Hippo home, and the mutiny is on.

2040hrs: Oh snap! Raging Hippo done fell out, and went through a plate glass window. I wonder is seismologists are wondering what the hell just happened.

2042hrs: Okay, we got Haliburton drilling into Raging Hippo's head. He's freaking out again.

2045hrs: Heh, Raging Hippo is a conspiracy theorist. And Cameron calls Raging Hippo an idiot.

2050hrs: House is going to hire Dewayne-Wayne as his lawyer. Now that's a different world.

2052hrs: Ewww, Raging Hippo has yellow crusty fingernails.

2055hrs: Raging Hippo has cancer. Cameron used a bunch of words too large for me to comprehend.

2056hrs: Officer IHateHouse is turning up the heat on Dr. Wilson. House is going to Federal Pound You In The Ass Prison...probably.

2100hrs: What are the odds on House going to prison?

Liveblogging 10/31/06

2006-10-31T21:08:00.000-05:00

Season 3: Fools for Love

The show opens with tho guys in a diner, one is coughing, then they pull out guns. It looks like they're planning a robbery. People in the diner start to panic. It looks like the gunmen are taking hostages. The cougher has another coughing fit, then a few seconds later the hostage girl he was holding begins a coughing fit herself. The camera zooms in on her mouth and down her throat.

[Fade to credits]

Now we're at the hospital, and they're talking about a case. House walks out on Cameron. Some stuff happens with Wilson, but I missed it. Now they're back to trying to figure what happened to the choking girl. They're thinking salmonella.

House has some male patient, and he has some problem with his manly parts. House says, "Use lubricant." Now Clapman is insulting House. He says, "treat people like jerks, you'll get treated like a jerk." House finally decides to treat him like he requested, which includes giving him a rectal thermometer.

Salmon-Ella seems to be breaking out in a rash. House says give her the same food she had at the diner and put her on the treadmill, to see if it's an allergic reaction. Her boyfriend suffers some sudden attack himself.

[Commercial Break]

He's as sick as she is now. House says it worked. Foreman says, "yeah, on the wrong patient."

He's Salmon-Ella's husband. House starts psychoanalyzing them. He quips something about "Internet pr0n related," and says, "I'll check the internet."

They think Salmon-Ella's husband is cheating on her. Gonnarhea would explain the symptoms. And explain the condom use, I guess.

Hubby has a racial chip on his shoulder. Interracial couples. Tests show negative for STDs. Foreman tells House, "I assume you only date emotionally stunted bigots." House orders the wife off steroids.

More insinuations that Cuddy is pregnant. "I can't ignore that rapidly expanding first trimester ass."

Salmon-Ella freaks out from a dream she had of Father in Law telling her to stay away from his son. Now she's in a coma.

[Commercial Break]

Daddy was a drunk pill popping racist.

Team looking at Salmon-Ella's brain scan. House says maybe it's Sarcoidosis. They say it's not communicable though, but it explains the symptoms.

Now he's asking Wilson id it's sarcoidosis. It turns into one of House and Wilson's lover's quarrels. Wilson says it's not sarcoidosis, but House says Wilson said it was to the other team members.

Cameron says there's a conflict from Hubby allowing a procedure, because he bears no risk, but he's sick from the same thing, so he gets all the benefits. Cuddy finally goes along, but only if House apologizes to Clapman.

Hubby says "do it on me instead."

Wilson, "you know what could save this couple? Lot's of misdirected sarcasm."

STOP giving Wilson the good lines!

House pulls a fast one to give the patient something that would be extremely painful to Hubby.

House, "Dude. She's in a coma. Who are you trying to impress?"

Clapman, tells House, he's a bully. He says he's not looking for sinceret, he's looking for humiliation. House tells him he's not apologizing.

House, "he's dying, just not in a way that's going to help his wife."

[Commercial Break]

Now they got another theory about what's wrong. House says maybe Daddy just didn't like this black girl. House comes up with a rare genetic disease, and says the two are half brother and half sister, and that's why Daddy flipped out when they started dating.

House wants Foreman to tell them that they are half siblings. Finally Foreman starts to explain that it is a genetic disease, and that they are related. He wants to do a DNA test. Salmon-Ella starts freaking out about how she's lighter skinned, and it seems to make sense. Then Foreman just about rationalized their incestuous relationship.

Foreman feels sad about the breakup of Salmon-Ella and her husband. Whatever. They were freakin' related! Why should he feel guilty?

House is racing on his motorcycle and gets pulled over... By Clapman. Now he's arresting House for possession of narcotics. That's exactly the kind of behavior I expect from cops. "I'm the law. All the others will back me up no matter what I do." And they will.

Sorry, FM... Personal experience showing through.

Anyhoo, Fade to commercial. Looks like House is going to jail. Plus, the world's fattest most swollenest man.

THIS JUST IN

2006-10-28T23:56:00.000-04:00

House marathon at 12 central on USA Sunday!

Watch it damn you!

Laurie in the SNL House

2006-10-27T18:50:00.000-04:00

I have heard from most reliable sources that Hugh Laurie will be hosting this weeks Saturday Night Live...

Granted SNL has sucked since the late 90s, You should still stop by and see it for House.

I know I will!!!

.

...Be freggin having to record it

...Because I'm at stupid work...

Damn....

Liveblogging 9/26/06

2006-09-26T20:10:00.000-04:00

Season 3: Lines in the Sand

Okay, I missed the opening segment, so sue me! Oh, and we have a new House fan group! Go check them out!

1909 hrs: Great joke! The veterinary hospital one!

1911 hrs: Is that Vic Mackey's son? Is Vic Mackey gonna kick my ass for saying that?

1913 hrs: Damn! House gets all the chicks!

1914 hrs: Apparently nothing is wrong with the autistic kid. Damn! I guess they have no episode tonight! Well, other than going up his rear and getting a smear!

1916 hrs: Well, there goes that theory!

1920 hrs: Anyone want to venture a guess as to what is wrong with the autistic kid? That's assuming that anyone is reading this right now.

1927 hrs: Wow, House philosophy! Preach, Dr. Preach!

1928 hrs: Whoa, the kid has liver cells under his arm. I imagine that could be a problem...

1933 hrs: Hmmm, imagine that, House thinks the parents have done something.

1935 hrs: Wilson wants Cuddy (mmmmm Cuddy) to defeat House by surrendering to him. Sound like anyone you know? House wants his old bloodstained carpet back.

1937 hrs: Uh-oh, the hot psycho-stalker chick is back!

1940 hrs: Damn! Mmmmm...Cuddy. How is House not hitting that?

1944 hrs: Whoa! That was weird. The kid's right eye rolled up in his head, and the left stayed normal!

1948 hrs: Psycho-stalker chick is backed and locked up in Cuddy's (Mmmm Cuddy) office. Now House has to go talk to her. I imagine she'll say something that will give House the lightening bolt of inspiration that will help him figure out what's wrong with the kid. Now he's quoting Casablanca! Ick!

1953 hrs: Wow, House just convinced her she has a spore in her brain. He rocks.

1954 hrs: The kid has raccoon roundworms in his eyes! Double F&&&ing Ick!

1600 hrs: House saves the kid, the kid gives House his PSP as a way of saying thanks. Apparently House made a connection with the boy. How cheery, and sappy. Even House is shocked. House gets his carpet back while the crappy hippy music plays. Cameron tells House that not all change is bad. Wow! What a freakin' Plato!

Houseism of the night:

FOREMAN: I had a date last night and she screamed. Does that mean we should examine her?

HOUSE: Of course not, this isn't a veterinary hospital.

Juvenile I know, but still, very good!

Great, we have to wait until the Yankees win the World Series before House comes back on.

Well, that's it for this episode of House. I hope all you that weren't reading this had a good time. Courage.

Season 3 Episode 3

2006-09-19T20:48:00.000-04:00

Episode title: Informed Consent

Unfortunately I missed most of the episode by now. I'll try to get some sort of recap or delayed liveblog up soon.

Liveblogging Season 3 Episode 2

2006-09-12T20:17:00.000-04:00

Cain and Able

Crap! I missed the first few minutes. It's the return from commercials. Cuddy and Wilson are making cracks about "where's the Body odor?"

Then Cuddy and Wilson argue over why House isn't exercising. Wilson acknowledges the hole in Houses leg. I don't think this can be real because pain or no pain... Hole in the leg. No muscle.

House is arguing with pretty boy. He says it's a bleeding disorder, you screwed up the test.

Foreman says "it's a bleeding disorder."

The kid's missing, house says, "let's hope he hasn't gone into hyperdrive. We'll never catch him then."

Chase finds him in a room, he's digging in his neck t get the chip out. His neck's all bloody. Chase pulls his arm away, but then notices a metal sliver.

[Commercial break]

They're arguing over what's wrong with the kid. Now they're talking with the parents. The parents want to knew why they need to keep running tests.

Cameron discovers Veggie fuy from last week is ok. She's gonna tell house. He wants a bucket full of viagra. Hehe

Cameron is arguing with Cuddy that theyu need to tell House the truth.

Kid tells chase that his parents think he's crazy. He gets an injection and starts to hallucinate. Alarms start going on everywhere.

"I could smell what the Rock was cooking" Killer line. Now they want to do some test on the kid's heart.

His heart isn't the problem. House keeps insisting on looking at bigger and bigger screen resolutions. House jusmps up to point something out, and cleatly hurt his leg.

Cuddy wants to take a pet scan of his brain. House is insisting on insinuating that Cuddy is pregnant.

They're looking at the kid's bllood or whatever and Chase says, "alien DNA"

[Commercial break]

House wants a plausible "terrestrial explanation" for the kid's alien DNA. Cameron wants to flush out the bad DNA

Wilson still refuses to let House know about veggie guy. Foreman says all House's brilliant ideas have been Cameron's. Cameron tells Foreman that House didn't blow the last case, but the beleif that he did is messing up his mind.

Chase explains the surgery they plan to do on the kid. He tells the kid, everyhtinf is fixed and he can go home tomorrow.

Wilson tries to get House back on the vicodin, but House says he doesn't want to be dependent on a drug to get through the day. Bastard. Wilson says, "youre not always right... you've proven that lately." Liar!

House is running like a madman on the treadmill. THe kid sees strange lights and starts to levitate, but it turns out he's still in surgery.

[Commercial break]

They tell House that it's neurological, but the scan is clean. House goes to do his wall ball thinking routine.

He's got nothing. He says to send the kid home. He says the remaining symptons might just be psychological. Wilson had really put the mind eff on him. He tells Cuddy that "you gotta know when to stop."

He tells Cuddy that she's been overly dupportive. She's either guilt ridden or hormonal. She admits that he was right about veggie guy. Suddenly he has a breakthrough.

House says what if he's not a person. What if he's two persons. He's a twin that merged together in one.

The twin inside is competing with him. House tells the parents. They say you're talking about brain surgery. House says, "we're talking about really cool brain surgery."

They're in the OR. THe kid is protesting as they perform the operation. He tells them to turn it up higher. Chase says the next step is brain damage.

The kid's hallucinating hard. He sees aliens. Little skinny big headed grey aliens. Then he sanps out of it and says, "you got them."

House tells Wilson that Cuddy lied to him. Wilson says that doesn't sound like her, and House replies that it sounds like him though. Wilson says he thought that if he knew he was right based on no evidence he would think he's God. House says, "God doesn't limp."

House gets back home and grabs the cane and starts using it.

Next week on House... House may have to play Dr. Kevorkian

Liveblogging the Season 3 Premiere

2006-09-05T18:39:00.000-04:00

I'm just reserving the spot for the post tonight. I may wind up missing the first few minutes, which isn't going to make me happy. Feel free to get started in the comments.

I missed the first few minutes. Tuned in and House is Running to work. 8 Miles. Wha?

House gets his first case back. A quadriplegic with no broken neck.

Cameron is shocked that the patients wife thanked him. He says, "I loaned her money." Heh.

He thinks the female patient is faking.

Wilson is trying to figure out why House took one of the cases.

House plans to take a spinal tap then slams the needle into her heart instead.

[Commercial break]

House tells Cameron that she doesn't want to date him because she can't nurse him back to health like a sick puppy now that he can walk.

House wants to perform the surgery. Wilson tries to psychoanalyze him some more. House pushes his way into the ER and decides that she's suffering scurvy and doesn't need surgery. Somehow I don't beleive that she's all better.

House is talking with the male patient's wife. He figures out that she doesn't want to take care of her husband but not taking care of him would make her miserable. Then he notices vegetable guy is attempting to talk.

[Halfway point]

House thinks veggie guy has a pancreatic cyst or something. The team argues with him, but then we see Chase and Foreman doing an ultrasound. Veggie guy's throst collapsed. Now House thinks that he might have cancer. He says the throat didn't collapse, it contracted.

He tells Veggie guys wife that they want to check out his brain, but Cameron is there trying to talk her out of it. "He could die." Wife says, "he's already dead."

Veggie guy on operating table. Blood oozes from his ear.

[Commercial Break]

House says redo all blood tests and scans. The team says "No." Cuddy says no. "For the fist time in years I have no opiates in my body. Now you question my judgement."

Wilson tells him no. Cuddy called him and said House would try an end around. House wants Wilson to give him Vicodin. Wilson says it will just take time for it to feel good.

House has been doing more jogging and then cools himself in a public fountain. Then he runs to Cuddy's house to tell her what is wrong with veggie guy. His brain overheated.

"He'll have sex with his wife again. He'll hug his kid again. I hope I got that order right. It'd be a shame to cure a pedophile."

Cuddy denies him his plan. House says she was right to say no. As the patient is checking out Cuddy says wait. She injects him with cortizol like House suggested. Nothing.

Veggie comes to. Unbuckles the belt on the wheelchair and tries to stand up. Wife hugs him breaking down with emotion. Family hug.

Cuddy tells Wilson she needs to tell House he was right. "Just because he was right doesn't mean he wasn't wrong."

Cuddy doesn't want to withhold from House but Wilson says, "Everybody lies."

Rolling stones "You can't always get what you want." House is in his apt. Fade to credits.

Next week on House...

Season 3 Premieres Tonight

2006-09-05T10:37:00.000-04:00

Episode Title: Meaning

Don't forget that it airs one Hour early, 8pm ET on FOX.

When we last saw House, he was being whisked into the OR and regained consciousness just in time to reveal that the entire episode was a dream sequence. He had suffered a gunshot wound and requested a procedure that may or may not releive him of his pain, and also may or may not cause other changes in his brain or personality.

In the ad for the premiere, it seems that he is no longer in pain, but also may have lost all common sense. Is it another dream sequence? Is it real? We will find out tonight. Tune in here at Blogs For House for a liveblog of the Season 3 Premiere.

Remember, one hour early!

Hugh Buttons!

2006-08-21T00:59:00.000-04:00

Like new buttons... But Hugh Buttons!

Anyway...I found these while sniffin' around this awesome Hugh Fansite. Awesome, no? Go browse around.

Also edited one up to be used for the Blogs of House blogroll. I know I'm using it!

Take that Bauer... I stiiiiiiiiiiill got it

The Kag Report Of Comedy

2006-07-27T10:10:00.000-04:00

Tommy at the Kag Report has posted this week's and last week's Carnival Of Comedy. Go get your dose of teh funny! Dr. House commands you!

Fake But True

2006-07-19T22:02:00.000-04:00

My crack research staff, consisting of my trained surveillance dung-beetle, Algore, has obtained a script for one of Next season's episodes of House.

Before I get into the script, I would like to pre-condemn any sexist overtones and/or any other form of hate-speech that may arise from this post including but not limited to potty humor, poor satire, and poor taste. I imagine if Hugh Laurie saw this, he'd condemn it too. Enjoy the preview.

House - I got your page, what's...Jesus H. Christ! What in the world is that smell?

Cuddy - I'm not sure, but I have been smelling it all morning and it's only getting worse.

House - Man, that smells like shrimp that's been in the sun for half a day, but stronger.

Cuddy - I know. We don't seem to be able to figure out where it's coming from.

House - It's odd, I kept getting little sniffs of it on the way up here, but I didn't get a real strong whiff of it until I walked in here with you.

Cuddy - House! Damn it, now's not the time to make jokes!

House - You know me, my jokes are better than that. I'm being serious.

Cuddy - What do you propose we do?

House - Let me get my team in here. We need to run some tests.

**********

House - Cameron, did you get all the body-fluid specimens?

Cameron - Yes, blood, urine, stool, even vaginal secretions.

House - Alright. Chase, I want you and Foreman to do a full battery of tests that nobody can pronounce but have official initials.

Foreman - Okay, I'll take the ones beginning with A-M.

Chase - You got it, and I'll take N-Z.

House - Cool. Get to work Super-Friends.

***********

Chase - We've learned that there is apparently a strain of Chlamydia trachofrischus going around.

Cuddy - I haven't had sex in months, how can I have contracted this illness?

House - Not Chlamydia trachomatis, Chlamydia trachofrischus. A much less common relative of the common VD. This unique strain isn't sexually transmitted though. See, it's contracted when you spend large quantities of time surfing the internet, trolling conservative blogs, and getting smacked down by said conservative.

Cuddy - That doesn't make any sense.

House - It makes perfect sense. You see, when one liberal blogger gets smacked down for, ahem, speaking truthiness to power, as it were, the rest of the trolls begin frothing at the mouth. They claim false victories, and start patting each other on the ass. The liberal froth then ferments and the Chlamydia trachofrischus grows, and can spread to the genitalia.

Cuddy - I understand that, House. I mean, I don't spend much time on the internet, and since you've been off running tests, about 6,000 more cases, including Cameron, have come into the ER. Oh my G-d! It must have mutated and become airborne!

House - It's possible, what with the "Great Blogosphere Brawl" and all. All that liberal truthiness could have caused the bacteria to mutate. However, that's not important. We have to cure these people. This must be the worst case of acute not-so-freshness to ever hit the US!

Cuddy - Alright, tell me what you need.

House - Get Glenn Greenwald on the phone.

This has been a coproduction of Radioactive Liberty who has brought you such insane bloggy goodness as Rope, Tree, People, The War For Oil and What About The Children, along with Fmragtops Spews who has made several attempts at humor, but failed miserably.

Upcoming Episodes

2006-07-10T21:04:00.000-04:00

One of these days, I will stop being lazy and I will start to provide comprehensive recaps for the episodes in seasons 1 and 2, probably in no apparent order. Right now, I will continue to be lazy, but update you on upcoming episodes. (And yes, Season 1 is available on DVD)

USA Network:

Histories - Friday July 14 at 11pm ET
Detox - Sunday July 16 at 11pm ET
Three Stories - Friday July 21 at 11pm ET
Honeymoon - Sunday July 23 at 11pm ET

Fox:
Need to Know and Distractions- Tuesday July 18 at 8pm/9pm ET

Season 3 Premiers on Tuesday September 5.

We'll try to gear up the site for the launch of the new season. If you have any suggestions, or things you would like to see featured on the site, please send an email to
blogsforhouse AT gmail (dot) com. We'd be happy to consider your suggestions.

Clinic Hours: Treating Il's Ills

2006-07-05T21:52:00.000-04:00

What seems to be the pro...Who the hell do you people think I am? Condoleeza Rice?

I am vewy sowwy Dr. House, but TV say you best doctor in world. I have no place else to turn. Wait, why you stick fingers in ears?

Hippocratic Oath, Hippocratic Oath, Hippocratic Oath, Hippocratic Oath...Okay, there! Sorry, that's how I center myself when poofy-haired dictators come into the clinic. Now what seems to be the problem?

This vewy personal. I trust you will treat this with utmost secrecy. Swear it!

Look, I may be overly sarcastic and judgemental, but I am a doctor. It is illegal for me to divulge any of your medical information.

I no concern with your childish western laws. As ancient Korean traditions dictate, you must swear by my poofy hair!

Alright already. If it will make your little dog-filled pot-belly happy, I swear by your poofy hair not reveal your secrets. Now tell me why you are here!

My dong won't stay up.

How didn't I see that coming? Oh, and I just had to throw in that last double-entendre.

Carnival Of Comedy #61: House Of Comedy

2006-06-29T10:41:00.001-04:00

Good monring kiddos! I'm Dr. House, and I have arrived to dispense your medicinal laughter for the week. Before we get started, I'd like to thank Dr. FIAR for doing most of the grunt work compiling and rating these entries. I've also noticed you bloggers have been slacking! That spacemonkey character is running low on hosts. No hosts, no funny. Get it? I bring the funny every week during the season, and I am sorely disappointed that the bloggers aren't bringging teh funny like they should. So host a carnival, by emailing Spacemonkey at imao dot us, or I will hit you with my cane.

In medicine, we are always looking for that "miracle cure." That one chemical compound that may cure cancer, or the common cold. This first group of posts doesn't do anything like that, but they'll make you laugh whether you have cancer, or the common cold.

Miracle Cures

jimmyb ponders the mystery of a missing sammich in Who You Gonna Call? at The Conservative UAW Guy

The Cranky Insomniac Recieves an Al Qaeda press release: Al-Qaeda Expresses Appreciation to NY Times (Death to America) and posted it at The Cranky Insomniac.

Notr discovers some disturbing grocery products in Overseas Shopping Vexation NSFW ROFASix

Steve the Pirate is not a morning person. He also has some issues with a demonic bit of technology in Steve SMASH! (Steve the Pirate)

Fiar at Conservative Political Humour and Satire ponders the true nature of the recent discovery of WMDs in Iraq in WMD, I Think Not | Satire

This next group of bloggers, while they may not cheer up a cancer ward, or give a dying burn victim one last chuckle, they'll make anyone else laugh.

Prescription Meds

Ah! Murtha. What would congress be like without his comedic interludes? Damian G. presents Murtha details Iraq strategy, tells kids to get the hell off his lawn. Posted at Conservathink. Damian keeps teh funny coming with Wealthiest 1% of homosexuals torn in midterm elections.

Buckley F. Williams presents NYT Reveals Timmy Durgin's Hiding Place. The New York Times may not survive this revelation, at The Nose On Your Face

Michael McCullough discovers Why some dogs attack their owners posted at Stingray: a blog for
salty Christians

Jacob the Syrian Hamster has learned New NSA Procedures for Handling Classified Documents (The Scratching Post)

Peace Moonbeam gives us a vision that will make you wish you were blind in The Liberal Art Of Nude Protest posted at The Peace Moonbeam Chronicles.

Next up, we have some more common variety analgesics and antihistamines. While these posts may not cure what ails ya, they'll bring some temporary relief to sore funny bones, and reduce the inflammation of your laugh muscles.

Over the Counter Medication

A little hot sauce goes a long way. Big Picture Guy presents Handle with Care. (Big Picture, Small Office)

miriam recounts a recent trip to New Jersey in Let New Jersey be New Jersey. New Jersey driving may be boring, but unlike in Pennsylvania, you can see the road at night. (miriam's ideas)

tommy at The Kag Report provides Katy Couric's interview with Dan Rather in Rather Couric

Bean presents Bean's Beats NSFW - Profanity posted at Bean. I have no idea who Tila Tequila is, but I do know now, she can not sing. Let this be a lesson to you boys and girls, My Space sucks.

In medicine, just like life, we must have yin to every yang, a heads to every tails, and an evil for every good. These meds don't cure or relieve anything in and of themselves, but they are certainly useful for the euthenasia crowd.

Dying with Dignity

Jerry Dante uses a bunch of profane similes in The Roast of The Howard Stern Show Roast, a podcast! NSFW (at Jerry Dante)

In an addendum to the lesson above, Mad Monk presents Official FIFA World Cup Spectator Guidelines. I'm all for making fun of soccer, but one of the keys is supposed to be that you don't actually like the sport. Posted at MadRussianMonk

Ali Eteraz presents Honey with Money posted at Unwilling Self-Negation

Lydia Lydia at Keep Your Eye on the Kids presents We Have A Bird Down

Alas, parting is such sweet sorrow, and we have reached the end of your weekly treatment. Make sure you present your insurance card to the receptionist on your way out. This weekly flight through teh funny would not be possible without IMAO, or future hosts (hint hint).

Don't forget to get your entries in for next week here, and here! If we can get a host that is.

Please visit my partners in medicine, Dr. FIAR, Dr. Little Orange Fox, and Dr. Fmragtops.

I'd link the upcoming hosts, but I have no idea who they are. If you want to host an upcoming carnival of comedy, e-mail spacemonkey at spacemonkey at IMAO dot US

The House Of Comedy

2006-06-27T13:00:00.000-04:00

The Carnival Of Comedy is coming Thursday evening. It might be kinda late since I have to work Thursday, but it will be here. Be here, or be overrun with dirty smelly hippies intent on free love and pacifism!

House on USA

2006-06-26T23:40:00.000-04:00

You may or may not know already, but Season 1 episodes of House can be seen on USA Network. I didn't realize this until last night (Sunday) at 11:00 ET, when the episode, Damned if You Do aired.

Upcoming episodes include:
The Socratic Method - Thursday June 29, 2006 at 11PM ET
Fidelity - Friday June 30, 2006 at 11PM ET
It seems to disappear again until Poison - Thursday July 6, at 11PM ET

Tomorrow night on Fox, Hunting at 8ET and The Mistake at 9ET

Teh Funny Is At the Carnival of Comedy

2006-06-15T10:53:00.003-04:00

The Zarqawi's Dead Edition of The Carnival of Comedy is up at conservative political humor. Go get teh funny, or Dr. House will browbeat you until you do!

Clinic Hours: Patient Impossible

2006-06-13T20:38:00.000-04:00

Hello, I'm Dr. House how can I...Yikes!

Calm down! I have a problem I was hoping you could help me with.

Okay. I'll tell you right up front that if it's psychiatric treatment you're looking for, you came to the wrong place.

Silence infidel! I have a fiend err friend with a problem. I hear you are the best diagnostician in the world. I need you to tell me what's wrong him.

Ummmm do I have a choice, or will I end up on an internet isalmofascist snuff film if I don't help you...No wait...I don't want to know. Where's the patient?

He's right here under this sheet...

...

Wha..?

He's freakin' DEAD!!! Look at him! What do you want me to with that?

...

Silence infidel! Do you know who you're talking to?

Yeah. I'm talking to a barbaric murderer who has brought a dead body into the clinic, and thinks he's in a cave in Afghanistan. Watch out there Habib, I might hit you with my cane. I'm still not sure I know what you want from me. I can't work with that!

...

I want you to say that the great satan's army tortured and killed him!

Uhhhhh...no.

If you do not do as I command, I will have swarms of mujahedin descend upon your city and bomb....

Oh shut up Corky! You're not in a mud hut in the middle of Afghanistan any more! I'm not going to lie for you!

If you do not obey I will have my holy warriors feast on the entrails of your indfidel children!

Obey is a funny sounding word. Sounds like pig latin doesn't it? I don't have any children, and oh yeah, I'm not lying for you.

I will cut your head off.

Oh please.

Take your corpse and get the hell out of my hospital.

Come on Zack, let's go. I've got the newest Goats Gone Wild Video from al-Net Flix

...

Take that Jack Bauer!

What Happened To House's Leg?

2006-06-06T22:30:00.006-04:00

I've noticed we've been getting a lot of hits about what happened to Dr. House's leg. Also, "What happened to House's wife?" Even though technically Stacy wasn't his wife, they were just life partners or whatever.

The following is a recap of the episode where you will learn, what happened to House' leg, but if you're truly impatient, you can just scroll down to the second to last paragraph and get the quick summary version.

Season One: Episode 21 - Three Stories

Originally broadcast 5/17/2005
Watch and Download the Full Episode of House MD

Anyhoo, House was working Cuddy to get out of having to lecture a medical student class. He finally gave in with the agreement that he would get two hours off of clinic duty. While heading to the class he runs into Stacy, who needs him to help with a case. She gives him her husband's file. House is a bit taken aback, because he didn't know that she was married. In typical House form, he suggests it's probably just a case of indigestion, a kidney stone, or something.

His symptoms are abdominal pain and fainting. He's been to 3 different doctors, but they've turned up nothing. She's desperate for House to help, so she begs for House to take the case. House quips that he isn't sure that he wants her husband to live.

Cut scene to the class of 3rd year medical students. House is lecturing the students on a hypothetical case where 3 different patients are suffering from leg pain, one of the patients winds up in a coma. The students make suggestions as to what might be the problem, and the back and forth is much like that with House and his team. He chides them that everybody lies. Trust no one.Do your own detective work, and never have strong feelings for the patient. House also points out that sometimes a wrong diagnosis can kill a patient.

During a break, House talks to Wilson about Stacy's husband. Wilson thinks that there must be something seriously wrong with her husband if she is desperate enough to seek help from House. The students interrupt House and drag him back into the lecture hall. They continue to take guesses at what is wrong with the leg pain patients.

House suggests a scenario where a farmer is bitten by a snake. The procedure is to find what type of snake bit him, and administer the correct antivenin. If that doesn't work, then you try a different type of snake that it could have been, and administer another antivenin. Then he poses the question. Who simply tries on antivenin after another, and who would try to determine the exact type of snake it was first. The class is split. House lets them know that 1/2 the class saved the patient, and the other half killed him. The point of course being that mistakes kill.

House feeds the students more information about the 3 leg pain patients. One treatment works, the other doesn't. One patient doesn't respond to treatment, and one just might be a drug addict trying to weasel a killer score.

Back to the snakebite. He tells the farmer he's going to die from a snakebite. The farmer asks what will happen to the dog. It turns out the dog bit the man, not a snake. Patients lie. Everybody lies.

The possible druggie is having brown discharge in his urine, meaning blood. His kidneys are shutting down. This is caused by muscle death, which releases myoglobin and is toxic to kidneys. The students prescribed antibiotics and bed rest, so the patient will be dead in 3 days. They screwed up and killed someone, and they’ll need to learn to deal with that.

In the final case, it turns out that the patient is a high school voleyball player who has tendonitis. A closer exam showed a nodule in the girl’s neck. An MRI then revealed an osteosarcoma, which is a cancerous tumor in the femur. It has to be removed surgically, but if it’s too large or too ingrained the leg might need to be amputated.

Quite coincidentally, the farmer has flesh-eating bacteria contracted from the dog’s mouth. The damaged tissue has to be removed, and the farmer’s leg might also require amputation.

In one of the hospital rooms, Cuddy tells a 30something man that an MRI showed a problem... and they may need to amputate his leg.

Back in the lecture hall, Cameron, Chase, and Foreman are observing House from the back row. When House explains that an MRI showed that the a clotted aneurysm caused the leg pain, and that led to a subsequent infarction, the doctors finally realize that the three fictional patients are in fact only one real patient -- House himself.

Flashback to the hospital room, where Cuddy tries to convince the man that he needs surgery. The man is House. He refuses to allow them to amputate his leg. Stacy begs him to get the amputation, but House will have none of it.

In the classroom, the empty seats begin to fill up. House explains why doctors amputate. The more you make sure that all the bad tissue is gone for good, the less chance there is that anything can go wrong, post surgery.

In the flashback, House utterly refuses surgery. He insists on having a bypass to try and restore the circulation to his leg, thus revitalizing the tissue. Stacy is in disbelief at his stubbornness. The surgery appears to be successful, but with the agonizing pain that he was told he would go through. House studies his own chart, and is disturbed by the rise in his potassium levels. He calls a nurse, and demands to be given a dose of calcium glutinate, but before she can do anything, House goes into cardiac arrest. Cuddy runs in and fires up the paddles.

Were back to the classroom again, and House explains that the patient was clinically dead for more than one minute. House flashes to the time when he was "dead." He sees the farmer, and the volleyball player. They are wearing prosthetic legs, and living almost as if nothing had ever happened. They have adapted, and the technology of prosthetics is very good.

Wilson interrupts and asks if house thinks the visions were real. He says it's just a chemical reaction in the brain, as it begins to shut down. Cameron and Foreman ask why he would explain it that way, and not in a more religious fashion. House replies that it is more comforting for him to believe that life isn't simply a test. (To see if you're worthy of an afterlife)

Flashback. Stacy is by House in his hospital bed. He is struggling with the pain, and she pleads with him to just go through with the amputation. He tried it his way, now it's time to do it the right way. He would never let one of his patients refuse the correct treatment the way he is doing himself. He wants to be put into a chemically induced coma to sleep through the agony of recovery. Stacy has a plan, that as his medical proxy, she can make decisions for House while he is under. Cuddy agrees to it even though she is torn on the ethics of it.

Once House is under, Stacy asks about that middle ground where it's more drastic tissue removal than a bypass, but less drastic than an amputation. Cuddy explains how they would cut out the dead muscle tissue, and Stacy agrees to have them go forth with that procedure.

House explains to the students that so much muscle was removed that the leg was nearly unusable. Since they took so long to finally remove the tissue, the patient is still in chronic pain, to this very day. As the students begin to debate whether stacy made the right decision, House asks when the class is over. Cuddy, who was another observer of the class by this point, replies that the class was actually over 20 minutes ago.

House limps out of the class and we see him back in his office. He calls Stacy and tells her he will see her husband the next morning.

Whew! To summarize, what happened to House's leg was that there was muscle death of the leg. He should have had it amputated, but he didn't. Instead, he wound up with a nearly useless, and chronically painful leg. Stacy, as a participant in this demise, well, I guess the relationship was all downhill from there. House realizes it was all his fault. If he would have just got the amputation, he wouldn't have screwed it all up.

So that's what happened to House's leg. I hope that clears things up.

Re-Runs Tonight!!!

2006-06-06T19:03:00.002-04:00

House re-runs will be on Fox tonight. Two whole hours of House. Get you a bottle of scotch, a bottle of Vicoden, and have Wilson cook you some food, so you can veg out and drink in the sacrcastic goodness! I think some recaps will follow, along with the next edition of Clinic Hours! Any ideas about who will be coming into the clinic for Dr. House to treat?

Sitting here as the first episode of the night ends, all I can think of is how much I hate laid back and groovey music.

Dr. House's Summer Vacation

2006-06-01T18:32:00.000-04:00

Apparently Dr. House is on a space mission during his summer vacation. It looks like he and Captain Wild Bill are out rescuing survivors from Planet Moonbat. I have a feeling he'll have to come back for his next clinic rotation. Dr. Cuddy is pushy with those things....Am I the only one turned on by that?

Teh Funny Has Arrived

2006-06-01T13:46:00.000-04:00

The Carnival of Comedy is up at MoxArgon's place. I knew all my sycophancy would pay off one day. Let this be lesson to you all, if you suck up to intergalactic conquerers it may just save your life. Thanks for a great Carnival, O Great and Powerful MoxArgon. I can't wait to be a jester in your court sir.

No House Tonight

2006-05-30T20:37:00.000-04:00

Since last week was the Season Finale, there is no House tonight, not even reruns. Fox has chosen to show Shanghai Nights instead. So tonight we'll be liveblogging Shanghai nights, and I better get caught up because I already missed the first...

What's that. Excuse me, Dr. House is talking to me. No. We're not liveblogging Shanghai Nights.

OK. Change of plans. No House tonight, and no liveblog. We'll see you next time when there's actually an episode of House on, or I have an old episode to recap, or we develop some sort of House related creativity.

Sorry for the interruption.

What You've Been Waiting For!

2006-05-27T19:22:00.000-04:00

Here it is guys! What you've all been waiting for. Through hours of exhaustive research, Dr. FIAR has been able to find...This:

Clinic Hours: The Hippy

2006-05-27T11:06:00.000-04:00

I'm Dr. House, what seems to be the trouble...aside from the fact that you're a loser?

Like, what's with the hostility, man?

Oh sure. You come in here looking and smelling like you haven't taken a bath since 1963, and you're the victim. Why don't we just pretend you're a human being. You tell me what's wrong, and I'll fix it.

Why are you repressing my individuality man?

Oh, I see. Because you've chosen to grow your hair long, and you wear bellbottoms, and you're wearing a tie dye shirt, that makes you an individual. And because I am repulsed by the stench of patchouli and marijuana, that makes me the repressive tool of the capitalist agenda. Why don't you grow up, and tell me what's wrong with you?

All this hostility is effecting my aura. Is there, like, a less hostile doctor I can see, man?

If there were, I wouldn't be here talking to you, Cousin It. Okay, if you're not going to tell me what's wrong, we'll play twenty questions. I love games. Are you experiencing vomiting or nausea?

Yeah, how'd you...

Lucky guess, Haggar. Are you dizzy? Hot, but not sweating?

Whoa, that's, like, so trippy. It's like you're reading my mind. How'd you do that?

Jim Morrison told me. Listen butterfly, or moonbeam, or fornicates with wolves, whatever your name is, I'll have someone come in and give you IV fluids. I suggest the next time you decide to go sit out in the sun, singing Kumbaya, doing acid, and getting it on with other aging hippies, I suggest you dress accordingly, and drink fluids other than Jose Quervo. Take a bath, cut your hair and get a job. Be original.

Recap of House Season 2 Finale

2006-05-25T20:29:00.000-04:00

As the show opens, a guy with a freakishly swollen tongue is being attended to by Dr. House, then we see him discussing the case with his team. Blueblood (Chase) is horrified at his merciless taunting of the patient. "He looks like Harpo."

"You asked him what book he's currently reading?"

"It's hilarious to try and watch him talk. I asked him anything I could think of." House revels in his torment. "Favorite color: 'Bwoo.' Favorite dessert topping? Trust me. You never know what fact might be the key to saving your life."

"Whipped cweam," the patient responds.

"I asked him if he was sure."

A man walks in and asks which one is Dr. House. House tells him it's the skinny brunette. The man says "That's Dr. Cameron." House points out that he fits the vague description as well. The man says he was a patient of House's, then shoots him, and says, "Shocking, isn't it. Who'd want to hurt you?"

Fade to credits.

We return with House as a patient in the ICU. House awakens and immediately guesses that he's been out about 2 days. He asks if he lost any vital organs. "I always say, if you're going to get shot, do it in a hospital." Cameron tells him the wound in his neck severed his jugular. House doesn't remember being shot in the neck.

She starts to tell him about who the shooter is but he cuts her off, "I don't care." He asks about Harpo.

"You just got shot , House. You should rest."

"I got shot, diagnostically boring. Big fat tongue on the other hand, endlessly entertaining."

He predicts the test results of Harpo... Correctly. He notices the guy who shot him in the ICU room with him, and Cameron say that's because he got shot by security. He gets up to go see Cuddy about this injustice. Cameron tries to convince him he needs to lay back down, he challenges her to stop him. He says, "You can't. Because that would involve physically touching me, and then things would get so sexually charged." She does attempt to physically stop him. They talk about Harpo some more.

In Cuddy's office. She knows why he's there, and explains "He needs intensive care. So do you."

"He needs to be shot again."

She tells him that the shooter is handcuffed and sedated. He's messing with the IV machine that controls the morphine drip, and complaining that the surgeon messed up the surgery.

"It's annoying enough dealing with your Vicodin habit. Quit upping your morphine."

"I'm not. I'm reducing it."

His leg feels better. She says it amazing.

He says "It's unbelievable. Since being shot is not an FDA approved treatment for anything, it means something must have gone wrong in the surgery."

"Yes. Terribly, tragically wrong," she mocks.

Now we see him in the ICU over the shooters bed. House turns down his morphine, and begins the torture and interrogation. Clearly a violation of the Geneva Conventions. Shooter wants House to live to see him suffer. House pulls the IV out. Who's suffering now, dirtbag? Pwned!

Now Harpo sets off the alarms, he can't breathe. Dr. Blueblood pokes a trache hole. Suddenly the team is there to consult with House. It apparently seems odd to no one that a man who has just been shot is offering medical advice. Perfectly routine. House objects to Cameron respecting the shooter's need to sleep.

"Yeah. Killer needs his rest. Otherwise he's grumpy all day." He slaps his cane down.
"Hey! Wake up! Watch me save a life."

Killer starts talking to House. Telling him why he shot him. House treated his wife, and guesses that he did so unsuccessfully. She didn't die. First guess is wrong. House told his wife about an extramarital affair. Obviously she killed herself, but House misses on the guess again.

He sees Harpo's wife, figures she's a co-worker or sister, not a wife, because her looks so outclass him, and he's not wealthy. He thinks that Harpo has an STD. She says she's been faithful.

Foreman and Blueblood are working on Harpo, when another emergency arises. They scramble to help. Alarms going off. Holy... ! The patients eye explodes, complete with graphic gore, and sound effects. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. House starts to leave, and collapses. His stitches ripped out.

House is back in ICU. More conversation with John Hinckley, Jr. He wants House to take responsibility for his wife's suicide. House says. "Here's how life works. You either get to ask for an apology, or you get to shoot people. Not both."

Now House is eating lunch downtown, in his hospital gown. Team members don't think that in the least bit odd. Sure. People always go downtown for lunch after getting shot. They're still obsessed with the Harpo case. One of my favorite things to do after being shot is to sit on the trunk of a car in a hospital gown, and eat a fish sandwich. Maybe that's just me.

House says he doesn't think Harpo's wife is messing around, and Cameron says, "House. The patient isn't married, he's a widower."

Now House in in an office with Wilson about how he was never talking to Harpo's wife. It must be a hallucination. He says his judgement is compromised. Wilson suggests he take himself off the case.

He goes back to Cuddy to ask why he was administered ketamine. They wanted to put him in the k-hole. Cuddy tells him the coma was to reboot itself, and make his leg pain go away. House is majorly hacked off.

Knock knock. Who's there? Quadriceps. Quadriceps who? You know, the part of House's leg that used to be there, but isn't anymore.

They skip quickly from working on Harpo then to telling House that the tests were negative. Cameron muses that Killer has been sleeping a lot. Surprisingly, House is VERY concerned by that, or not.

House makes an analogy about overfilled trash cans, and seems quite irritated when Chase gets the point before House has the pleasure of explaining what the eff he's talking about. He reveals that he is, in fact, quite bothered by this fact in a conversation with Killer. "Either they're getting smarter, or I'm getting dumber." Clearly he does not believe the former is possible, as Killer suggested to him, "You're getting dumber."

Then Killer goes on a little philosophical wax about how being polite is something people do because they consider the fact that when they screw up, they will be judged accordingly. I guess meaning, don't be harsh to people, because when you mess up, they'll be harsh in return. What goes around comes around and all that.

Harpo goes into the bathroom to relieve himself, and starts groaning in agony, attempting to inform Blueblood of a problem. Blueblood moves in for a closer look, and BLAM! Teste surprise, all over his face. This is one gory episode. 24 warns of graphic violence, which I have yet to ever see, but this is graphic.

Back from commercial, House and Blueblood are talking about the Harpo case in a Physical Therapy room. Blueblood's riding an exercise bike. House says "The blood had to come from somewhere. You took a shower in it."

"Trauma"

"You think someone snuck in here just to kick him in the jewels, and poke out his eye, and swell up his tongue? Keep riding. I got a bet with my physio that I can do 100 clicks by Friday." He must be meaning to pass off Blueblood's riding mileage as his own. Then House messes up basic anatomy 101, then says they need to peel back the layers and question basic assumptions.

At the urinal with Wilson, chatting. "Eyes popping out is a rather odd presentation." ~Wilson
"Sack blowing up on the other hand." ~House
He blames Cuddy for messing with his brain. Wilson says she was trying to help.
"Yeah. I can run like the wind, but I can't think, and seeing as how I'm too old to become a professional athlete, it looks to me as if she screwed me over big time."

He strolls out casually, and quickly. No mention of missing leg tissue, but Wilson thinks he wants to have a gimpy leg. He tells about how people sometimes define themselves by their disease. He says House has dismissed the physical realm in favor of cold calculation. House figures out that he's known for days about what they did to his brain.

He storms in and starts yelling at Cuddy about the fact that all he has is his intellect, and she screwed that up, now he has nothing. She points out that he was using morphine. She knows about it. "Let me put this in terms you understand," he says to Wilson. Blam! Solid connect to the jaw. Sweet!

Wilson asks if he's hallucinating. "I mean RIGHT NOW." The voice changes to Killer's voice. " Are you hallucinating?" Then he's back in the ICU with Killer. House snaps out of it and Killer says he's been yelling at him and calling him "Wilson." House then runs down a list of hallucinations he's been having. Also, he apparently wet the bed when he hallucinated being in the bathroom.

At that moment the team walks in and utters their favorite catch phrase, "The test was negative." He says, "Do a cystoscopy. Make sure he's human." Then he and the team are suddenly walking through the hall. Blueblood says, "the test was negative."

"For him being human?"

They traverse down the stairs, and House is struck by the fact that he doesn't remember how he got there. He starts hopping up and sown the steps like a gaybird, obviously suspecting that he's mid-hallucination. He then asks the team members how he got there. He doesn't remember.

Knock knock. Who's there? Quadriceps. Wait, I aready did that joke.

He bursts into Cuddy's office and announces that he's losing his mind, and having hallucinations. He takes himself off the case. Then he asks why she jumped when he came in. She says she thought he was going to attack her again, but the time when he attacked her was a hallucination. Ergo, so is this.

He snaps out of it again. He's back in ICU with Lee Harvey Oswald.

Upon return from the obscene profits break, both House and John Wilkes Boothe are eating fish sandwiches in their hospital gowns, on the trunk of a car. Maybe it's not just me that likes to do that after being shot. He asks how he can tell what's real and what's not. Interestingly enough though, despite his claim not to know what's real and what's not, he recognizes again that he's mid-acid trip.

Killer tells him that he's concerned about taking actions on faulty assumptions. If he takes no action. No harm done. If he takes action based of faulty info - Irreparable harm done. He decides to put his trust in the hands of his team, or so he says.

"The test was negative." Again x 57

He says if something doesn't make sense, "One of your assumptions is wrong. If something doesn't make sense, it can't be real, so what are our assumptions?" He peels back the layers. He suggests giving Harpo surgery with some sort of robot, but Harpo doesn't like that idea.

So House interjects, "People suck. People have turned you from a guy with a swollen tongue into a guy with one eye, one ball, and a stapled on face. If you want someone to hold you while you cry yourself to sleep at night, choose warm and soft. If you want someone to write you a poem, pick the sensitive loner. If all you care about is that somethings done right, pick the guy with the metal head."

To demonstrate how accurate the machine is, the take Harpo to the OR with the machine. Dr. Cameron is laying on the operating table. House maneuvers the robot arm and gently brushes across her face. Then he moves the robot arm down to her belly button, and deftly inserts it to gently caress her across her belly button. Man, this seems almost sexual. He switches to the scalpel tool on the robot arm, and slices off the top button of her blouse with perfect accuracy and precision, as the tight garment spreads apart.

He asks Harpo if he's seen enough, and Harpo responds, "No," clearly wishing to see a few more buttons meet their maker. House says, "That wasn't a question. You either do this, or you die," and sends him off to get prepped for surgery.

Killer tells House that he's wasted his life. He asks House if he cares if he lives or dies. "I care because I live. I can't care if I'm dead." Killer says, "I don't want to hear semantics."

"You anti-semantic bastard."

Killer tries to tells him that House only cares about results, not feelings or intentions. "And even if I'm wrong, you're still miserable." He asks, "Did you really think that your life's purpose was to sacrifice yourself and get nothing in return?" House is deep in thought. "No. You believe there's no purpose to anything." We see House with a woman, in a car. His ex-wife? Killer's wife? "Even the Lives you save, you dismiss. You turn the one decent thing in your life, and you taint it. Strip it of all meaning." (Long pause) "You're miserable for nothing. I don't know why you'd want to live."

That was an outstanding monologue. I should quote the whole thing, beginning to end. House looks as if Killer has struck a chord, deep inside him. The look on Killer's face is, of all things, pity. Pity for House. House says with deep sincerity, "I am sorry." What a gripping scene. He then announces that he knows what's wrong. (with Harpo?)

He goes in the OR, where the team is about to operate. He asks why they've never questioned his judgement. "You're always insane and you're always right."
"I'm almost always eventually right. You have no way of knowing when 'eventually' is."He tells them that he knows none of this is real. He repeats that "either you guys are getting smarter or I'm getting dumber." They try to tell him they're just accustomed to his style.

"If something doesn't make sense, one of you're assumptions has to be wrong, because if something doesn't make sense it can't be real. What if the faulty assumption is that it's real?"

He plans to kill Harpo to snap himself out of his delusion. He slices Harpo open. He looks horrified, as he thinks that maybe, just maybe it was real. Blood drips. Everyone has looks of horror. Harpo's hand drops down limp.

A single bullet drops from his hand. House leans down to pick it up. He says, "Goodbye."

At that moment, doctors and nurses are rushing a gurney toward the OR. House is the one on the gurney. He opens his eyes. He says, "Tell Cuddy, I want Ketamine." He wants them to try the "Brain Reboot" procedure. He passes back out.

End of season.

**

Trackbacked on: Stop the ACLU, Wizbang

HA!

2006-05-25T19:00:00.000-04:00

"If something doesn't make sense, one of you're assumptions has to be wrong, because if something doesn't make sense it can't be real. What if the faulty assumption is that it's not funny?"

Get your prescription of teh funny filled at the Carnival of Comedy. Doctors orders.

Linky Love

2006-05-25T12:34:00.000-04:00

Like to thank and direct your browser attention to the very cool web site of

Lisa Cuddy.com

They kindly listed us under the House Link section <3

Check it out for all things Dr. Cuddy!

What really happened tuesday night

2006-05-24T16:47:00.000-04:00

While Jack is busy stackin up corpses maybe we need a House Saved lives counter? Or a wise crack counter...but no super computer could keep up with that. Perhaps just a random quote generator. But those are long and boring.

You know what I think. If everything was nothing and no ones really sure what happened Tuesday night. Here's who I think really shot House...

The less attractive of the two

I managed to catch him fleeing and get an exclusive interview.

----

LittleOrangeFox: Why Jack...why did you do it.

Jack Bauer: Because *sniff* I'm so jealous...so very jealous of BlogsForHouse.

LittleOrangeFox: Good reason...but not good enough. You better hope House doesn't catch you with his robot surgeon machine! Did you see what happened to the fat guy? He wasn't even a terrorist either!

Jack Bauer: I hope Cuddy doesn't open up a can of whoop ass on me!

LittleOrangeFox:You better believe she will!

---

Even More Buttons!

2006-05-24T00:39:00.000-04:00

Love House but have a crush on his team too?

Even more new buttons to wave proudly in your sidebar! (On blogger but feel free to click and load to your own server) I made em myself!

XXOOX

p.s. layout? good, bad? I like that it is a wee bit wider and less scrunched up and the banner is pretty kickin'...but you know ladies...can't make up our mind!

p.p.s You didn't think I forgot? I was just waiting for someone to notice. Made by popular demand...

^-^

Some New Buttons

2006-05-23T22:24:00.000-04:00

No, I don't mean for Dr. Cameron's shirt. Tyler D. of .45 Caliber Justice made us some sweet buttons. Go check them out!

Wow.

2006-05-23T22:05:00.000-04:00

So.

What was the most shocking episode of House...Didn't even happen...

Be wary. This post might be a halucination.

Liveblogging The Season Finale

2006-05-23T20:46:00.000-04:00

Ladies and gentlemen, The liveblogging will begin momentarily. I have to sets of hair to wash and put to bed. I should be right on schedule, but the three year has soap in her eyes. I'll be right back.

2000 hrs: I Freakin' hate American Idol! I hope Seacrest catches a fatal dose of gingivitis!

2004 hrs: Professor Moriarty is crappy marksman, and a titty baby. Wah, Dr. House said something Mean. I bet Dr. Nuland is feeling happy in the pants.

2008 hrs: House wakes up his usual chipper self. The bullet ruptured his posterior rim. I heard of that happening to a crack ho once.

2012 hrs: House is messing with the professor Moriarty's treatment. That's so cool.

2014 hrs: Oh great, she killed herself because Professor Moriarty had an affair, and now he blames House. What a jackass.

2017 hrs: House insults the patient's wife, just to find out she's always been faithful. WOW! Dude's eye just popped out! Sweet!!!

2020 hrs: House DFOed (Done Fell Out).

2021 hrs: I pitty da foo' that don't get karaoke on demand!

2023 hrs: Is it just me, or does the chef from Hell's Kitchen look like Christopher Henderson?

2024 hrs: House still laying down the caustic sarcasm on Professor Moriarty, and now he's immitating his flunkies.

2025 hrs: Look, Dr. Cameron is wearing Jack Bauer glasses. Cool! And now, the plot thickens! The patient ain't married.

2026 hrs: Dr. Watson and House discuss this troubling hallucination of the hot wife. Now we see Dr. House got some Special K during surgery.

2030 hrs: Oh, now Professor Moriarty is playing mind games.

2032 hrs: There's a new one. Nobody knows what's wrong with the patient. Wow! His pee pee just expoded! Great special effects in this episode.

Anybody want to venture a guess as to what the incredible exploding man is suffering from?

2037 hrs: "Sack blowing out, on the other hand..." That's classic!

2039 hrs: Ooooh, look at the insite on Dr. Watson!

2040 hrs: Weeeel, what a hallucination! Now we're defining Hallucinatee with Professor Moriarty.

2042 hrs: Vicoden for House is like spinach for Popeye! Give him his Vicoden!

2045 hrs: I hate MySpace. I bet Jack is gonna be pissed when he gets back from China to find episodes of 24 posted on MySpace.

2049 hrs: My libup if obon da flobor! Whoa yeah! Cut her shirt off!

2058 hrs: Real or not real?

2100 hrs: So kiddos, what have we learned from this episode?

Liveblogging The Season Finale

2006-05-22T22:08:00.000-04:00

Make sure you're here tomorrow night when I'll be liveblogging the season finale of House. I'm sure I'll be able to think of something funny to write then.

Supporting Evidence For My Argument Below

2006-05-22T14:15:00.000-04:00

A little of Dr. House on You Tube. Caution, adult themes! It illustrates nicely some of the similarities between House and Holmes, and also shows that he is not completely devoid of emotion. It further gives us House's idea about callousness.

Trackbacked on Point Five

Doctor House Isn't Real? Say It Ain't So

2006-05-21T17:54:00.000-04:00

While traversing the World Wide Web, I came across this bit of idiocy where a whole, real, doctor rips our favorite doctor for not being realistic. Dr. House doesn't act like a real doctor? The next thing you know, you'll be telling me that professional wrestling is fake, or that Jack Bauer doesn't act like a real anti-terrorist agent. This @$$hat needs to get over himself. Let's lay the smackdown, shall we?

"Of all the medical errata in this series (and there are some whoppers), the greatest is surely the conceit that a physician so remote, so neglectful of duty, so sadistic, so downright cruel as Gregory House would be tolerated in any hospital, regardless of the non plus ultra quality of his diagnostic acumen."

You mean the medical stuff they talk about ain't real? Jesus H. Christ! Listen deuchebag, I was a cop for six years. I absolutely love The Shield. Vic Mackey is more brutal, more cynical, and more arrogant than any real cop could ever be, and still keep his job. I've never seen a cop actually lock two rival drug dealers in a trailer, and have them battle to the death to receive protection from cops. If any of the guys I ever worked with would have done the things Vic Mackey did, I would lock them up myself. But c'mon! It's a great show. We all want to, on some level, see a cop throw a severe @$$-whoopin' on some violent thug that has terrorized law abiding citizens.

Nothing is to be gained by glorifying a medical monster who makes the legendary ice prince of surgery, Ben Casey, seem like a latter-day Florence Nightingale—thankfully, Dr. House is a medical monster who does not and could never exist.

Dr. House, a monster? Dr. House is a prick, not a monster. A monster would be a doctor who went around killing patients that he felt would not have a good enough quality of life. Dr. House is a prick and we all love him for it. Dr. House is a modern day Sherlock Holmes. He solves mysteries. He is so driven to solve the unsolveable that he let's nothing stand in his way. He doesn't worry about his health, his job, or other people's feelings while he is on the case.

F.Y.I. House's creator, David Shore, based House on Holmes (get it, House/Holmes/Homes). Some of the referrences are pretty obvious, House's drug use, and his pit-bull like determination to solve the case. House's apartment number is 221B. Wilson/Watson. Dr. House is based on Holmes, and Holmes was based on a doctor. Anyhoo, back to the smackdown.

"What this show needs, in the highly unlikely event that it will survive, is a character who winks conspiratorially at the viewer, conveying his awareness that Dr. House and the plot, dialogue, and story line of this misbegotten series are as outlandishly preposterous as they are laughable."

I swear, educated people are some of the dumbest people on the face of the planet. No! The show doesn't need a character to tell me this show is fiction because I already know it. This is as stupid as the Catholics shrieking about The Da Vinci Code being dangerous and harmful.

Here is the bottom line. Unlike the idiot that wrote this drivel, Sherman Nuland, a surgeon at Yale Univeristy, I live in real life. I turn to TV shows, like House and 24, to get a break from reality. If I want real life, I'll stick to the news.

**

Trackbacked on Samantha Burns

House News

2006-05-20T22:39:00.000-04:00

ON THE NEXT HOUSE !

SEASON FINALE! 5/23

"NO REASON"

As House and his team work on the diagnosis of Vince, a man with a giant swollen tongue, disgruntled former patient Jack Moriarty (guest star Elias Koteas) walks into House's office and shoots him. House continues to treat Vince from his hospital bed in the ICU with Moriarty, shot by hospital security and handcuffed to his bed, as his roommate. Mysteriously since the shooting, House feels decreased pain in his leg.

However, aftereffects of the shooting begin to affect him negatively and he starts to question his own ability to diagnose, while hostility increases between him and Moriarty. As Vince's body begins to deteriorate, House struggles through his own self-doubts and must trust his team to find a way to solve the case.

-------

House-ism of the day

'I'm a really good secret keeper. I've never told anybody Wilson wets his bed.'

Link Blogs for House

2006-05-19T18:23:00.000-04:00

Join Blogs For House
Do you wait breathlessly as Dr. House flames unwary patients with his toxic sarcasm, and cynicism? Then join Blogs For House! If you want to join, put up the blogroll, and the image below, link to Blogs For House, and send Dr. House an e-mail at blogsforhouse at gmail dot com.

Blogs For House Logo

{script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src=" http:///rpc.blogrolling.com/display.php?r=e1ab609f1c51ece3a54d29f3489c1501"}{/script}

(Just remember to replace the braces ({}) with these (<>))

Layout?

2006-05-18T01:01:00.001-04:00

Very very very much in testing mode layout wise.... As you can tell I pretty much used mine and changed the fox picture...to House. Well tis all I could come up with at midnight. Should it stay or go? (it is such an easy layout to work with despite the fact it is in a foreign language) But I am pretty sure judalkan and ishitan has something to do with the side bar.

p.s. still working on banner for top of page and side bar links...and figuring out why contributers is in such huge letters...

Coming Soon!

2006-05-17T20:08:00.000-04:00

Are you a fan of Dr. Greg House? Do you watch with baited breath as the King Of Sarcasm brow beats his employees into finding the mysterious illness? Then this place is for you. Well, it will be. We will be your one stop for all things House!