Liveblogging 10/31/06

Season 3: Fools for Love

The show opens with tho guys in a diner, one is coughing, then they pull out guns. It looks like they're planning a robbery. People in the diner start to panic. It looks like the gunmen are taking hostages. The cougher has another coughing fit, then a few seconds later the hostage girl he was holding begins a coughing fit herself. The camera zooms in on her mouth and down her throat.

[Fade to credits]

Now we're at the hospital, and they're talking about a case. House walks out on Cameron. Some stuff happens with Wilson, but I missed it. Now they're back to trying to figure what happened to the choking girl. They're thinking salmonella.

House has some male patient, and he has some problem with his manly parts. House says, "Use lubricant." Now Clapman is insulting House. He says, "treat people like jerks, you'll get treated like a jerk." House finally decides to treat him like he requested, which includes giving him a rectal thermometer.

Salmon-Ella seems to be breaking out in a rash. House says give her the same food she had at the diner and put her on the treadmill, to see if it's an allergic reaction. Her boyfriend suffers some sudden attack himself.

[Commercial Break]

He's as sick as she is now. House says it worked. Foreman says, "yeah, on the wrong patient."

He's Salmon-Ella's husband. House starts psychoanalyzing them. He quips something about "Internet pr0n related," and says, "I'll check the internet."

They think Salmon-Ella's husband is cheating on her. Gonnarhea would explain the symptoms. And explain the condom use, I guess.

Hubby has a racial chip on his shoulder. Interracial couples. Tests show negative for STDs. Foreman tells House, "I assume you only date emotionally stunted bigots." House orders the wife off steroids.

More insinuations that Cuddy is pregnant. "I can't ignore that rapidly expanding first trimester ass."

Salmon-Ella freaks out from a dream she had of Father in Law telling her to stay away from his son. Now she's in a coma.

[Commercial Break]

Daddy was a drunk pill popping racist.

Team looking at Salmon-Ella's brain scan. House says maybe it's Sarcoidosis. They say it's not communicable though, but it explains the symptoms.

Now he's asking Wilson id it's sarcoidosis. It turns into one of House and Wilson's lover's quarrels. Wilson says it's not sarcoidosis, but House says Wilson said it was to the other team members.

Cameron says there's a conflict from Hubby allowing a procedure, because he bears no risk, but he's sick from the same thing, so he gets all the benefits. Cuddy finally goes along, but only if House apologizes to Clapman.

Hubby says "do it on me instead."

Wilson, "you know what could save this couple? Lot's of misdirected sarcasm."

STOP giving Wilson the good lines!

House pulls a fast one to give the patient something that would be extremely painful to Hubby.

House, "Dude. She's in a coma. Who are you trying to impress?"

Clapman, tells House, he's a bully. He says he's not looking for sinceret, he's looking for humiliation. House tells him he's not apologizing.

House, "he's dying, just not in a way that's going to help his wife."

[Commercial Break]

Now they got another theory about what's wrong. House says maybe Daddy just didn't like this black girl. House comes up with a rare genetic disease, and says the two are half brother and half sister, and that's why Daddy flipped out when they started dating.

House wants Foreman to tell them that they are half siblings. Finally Foreman starts to explain that it is a genetic disease, and that they are related. He wants to do a DNA test. Salmon-Ella starts freaking out about how she's lighter skinned, and it seems to make sense. Then Foreman just about rationalized their incestuous relationship.

Foreman feels sad about the breakup of Salmon-Ella and her husband. Whatever. They were freakin' related! Why should he feel guilty?

House is racing on his motorcycle and gets pulled over... By Clapman. Now he's arresting House for possession of narcotics. That's exactly the kind of behavior I expect from cops. "I'm the law. All the others will back me up no matter what I do." And they will.

Sorry, FM... Personal experience showing through.

Anyhoo, Fade to commercial. Looks like House is going to jail. Plus, the world's fattest most swollenest man.