During a drug deal, one drug dealer collapses. House goes all Jack Bauer on him, yelling at him< "Where's the Cocaine!" He mentions that the technique seems to work for Jack Bauer (Not the first time House has referenced Jack bauer, BTW). The drug dealer says he's in textiles, not drugs.
Meanwhile, Wilson is chatting up a neighbor. She tells him about where to get the best pizza, the best coffee, and where to get his dry cleaning done. It seems like all is going well, until he asks her out. She says to bring the good looking man with the cane. She implies that House is Wilson's love interest. Wilson says that they're not gay, but she doesn't seem to believe him.
Foreman wants a raise, so the team members play a joke on him that they make more than he does.
House asks the drug dealer about what textiles he is in. He says, "Is it H, by which I mean hosiery?" The dealer says it's Culottes. House asks culottes with a C or a K. With a C,the dealer says. "Nobody wants K anymore." The only thing I've ever heard of referred to as K is Ketamine. It's also the symbol for Potassium, but I don't see much street value for that unless you want to stop someone's heart to kill them. Anyone know what K is?
Then House asks Wilson what Culottes are. Wilson says that they are pants that wear like a skirt. The drug dealer looks at him with a look of "Sure you're not gay."
Wilson comes in to House's interrogation, and tells him that the cute neighbor girl thinks they are gay. House says she'll figure it out sooner or later. Wilson says he wants her to figure it out sooner, so House decides to begin acting gay. He has a big poster of "A Chorus Line," and is listening to showtunes.
Wilson's attempts to convince his neighbor that he is not gay fail. He says that there is no furniture in the apartment. There are no "window treatments." She says that her ex didn't even know what window treatments are. She says if he wants to spend more time with "Greg" that he should just tell him.
House figures out the patient is not actually a drug dealer, but is a cop instead.
The cop won't tell them about where he has been and what he has been doing because he needs to protect his identity and make the big bust. There's just no way he's going to talk. The patient says that there is a big - no huge - deal about to go down and he has to get out of the hospital to make the bust. Now he has a G.I. infarction and they had to remove a foot of his bowels.
They go talk to one of the actual drug dealers and try to convince him that he is sick too. He says he's not sick, he's drugged. He knows the difference, but then he shows that he cares for Mickey and says he'll take them to the stash.
Thirteen and the dealer go to some warehouse, and someone bursts in. He thinks she called the cops but it's one of his cronies. She plays up like she's a prostitute to get rid of him and says it will cost extra to bring a friend.
House is out to dinner with the girls Wilson wants. Wilson bursts in on their date. Wilson says
"I love this man, and I will not waste another moment of my life denying that. Gregory House, Will you marry me?"He holds out a ring. Now that House's date bolts, Wilson sits down and dips from the cup of victory.
There are some sort of petroleum or dry cleaning chemicals in the drugs, but nothing yet that explains what is wrong with the patient. The patient is coughing up blood while the drug dealer tenderly attends to him. The patient says he shouldn't have taken Thirteen to the stash. He says, "you're my friend. You'd do it for me." He asks if Mickey wants him to stay. He says no. You have to be there. Sorry I can't go with you.
Cuddy chastises the team for play a joke of Foreman and they say that he deserves a raise and they want her to take it out of their paychecks.
House comes clean with the neighbor, Nora. He says he just went with the gay thing because it was a fun way to mess with Wilson. He says their not closeted because their not gay. House just wanted to "Touch her boobies." He actually hates Evita. House has his epiphany.
The patient has Hughes-Stovin, and auto-immune disease that is terminal. He's going to keep having pulmonary aneurysms until he dies. While his drug dealing cohorts go down, he dies.
Wilson says he actually kind of likes the way Nora thinks of him as a bit of a bad boy. He complains about the couch, and bursts into singing a showtune.